有愉快的同事关系，受到同事的欢迎恐怕是每个职场人的想法。但是，当人气与敬业之间出现矛盾时，比如作为主管，工作的需要你得要求大家加班，但是谁都知道这不讨好，这种时候你该怎么办呢？是好好先生做到底，还是雷厉风行的保证工作顺利开展？下面就如何对待职场中的人气陷阱给大家一些建议，尤其是刚刚开始工作的学生。

THE POPULARITY TRAP 人气陷阱

Respect versus popularity-it is the old conflict between being professional and being personal. We want to do a good job, but we want to be friends with everyone, too. The truth is, you can't always be liked if you do your job properly. And the desire to keep everyone happy can become a weakness.
受人尊敬与受人欢迎归结起来其实是敬业和个人化之间的矛盾。我们都想把工作做好，同时我们也想和所有的人成为朋友。而实情是如果你想把工作做好的话，你就必然不讨人喜爱。想成为好好先生的一厢情愿往往会成为你的弱点。

"At best," says management consultant Jennie Lumley, "worrying about what others think makes us reactive when we need to be proactive. At worst, we're so busy playing the office sweetheart that we lose sight of the demands of the job and our needs."
管理咨询专家詹妮·伦莉说：“太介意别人的看法对工作没有好处，勉强说得上好的话就是当我们必须积极面对的时候，我们开始有了反应；而最糟糕的局面是大家都热衷于做办公室的好好先生，而漠视了工作和我们本身的要求。”

This is a particular problem for female professionals, Lumley finds. "It's a childhood hangover. We all long to be the most popular girl in school. Also, girls are brought up to try to please. This need to be liked gets in the way of career progress. At work, men don't give a thought to what others think so long as they get their way."
职业女性尤其容易产生这个问题，詹妮·伦莉说：“这是因为童年给我们太深的痕迹，我们都想成为学校里最受欢迎的女生；同时，女孩子从小就被教导要善解人意。而这种要讨人喜爱的心理往往会成为职业生涯的障碍。而对男性来说就没有这个问题，只要他们达到他们预期的目标，他们才不会理会其他人到底怎么想。”

AT TIMES YOU HAVE TO BE TOUGH 有时你就要狠下心来！

Although we would all love to be Ms Popular at home and in the office, at work the task is not to be liked, but to be effective, says computer sales executive Andrea. 电脑销售主管安德莉认为，虽然我们都想成为家里或办公室的受欢迎人士，可工作的性质不是要求人们要招人喜爱，而是一定要有工作效率。

"This is possibly the single most important lesson we can learn. You can't always be popular. You shouldn't have to be; it's not what you're there for. Progress depends on having your own ideas and sticking to them. And that means having the guts to make difficult decisions when you have to," she says. 安德莉说：“这有可能是我们学到的最重要的东西。你不可能时时处处受欢迎，你也没必要这样做；你的工作也不要求你这样。工作取得进展很大程度上是因为你有自己独立的想法并努力去实现它，这也就意味着在必要的时候，你就得狠下心来做出艰苦的决定。”

The soft decision is never a real option, as many women find. Pat had to deal with a colleague who had repeatedly been warned about her absenteeism, and now had to be told to go. When Pat tried to fire her, the colleague was so distraught, Pat gave her another chance.
而很多女性也发现，不痛不痒的决定其实不能解决问题。帕特就得面对这么一位同事，她因旷工已经被警告多次，最后还被勒令辞职。那同事知道自己要被炒鱿鱼时表现得非常激动，帕特一时不忍给了她第二次机会。

"It was a disaster," Pat says. "I had fired her and she'd walked away from it. My colleagues were resentful. I lost their respect, my bosses' and my own. And I still had to deal with her in the end!"
帕特承认说：“这真是一场灾难，我已经炒了她，她却毫发无伤地留了下来！其他同事都很有意见，我一下子失去了他们对我的支持，同时失去的还有上司对我和我对自己的信任。这还不算，到头来我还得面对那个同事。”

We're aware from day one in our first job that every decision we make is either a building block or a stumbling block on our career path. We should use the time to lay the groundwork of future respect by being professional, responsible, innovative, diligent and reliable.
我们在第一天工作的时候就很清楚我们做出的每一个决定都意义重大，会影响我们未来事业的发展，要么添砖加瓦，要么成为自己事业的绊脚石。我们因此应该在自己的专业领域兢兢业业，为自己将来的事业打下坚实的基础，成为一个专业、负责、创新、勤勉、值得信赖的人。

Respect is never given for nothing. Claire knew that she was offered a move to Paris with her finance company because she had gained a reputation for keeping cool under fire. And the next step up the ladder would depend on her performance in Paris.
没有人会无缘无故地赏识你。克莱尔被她所工作的金融公司提拔到法国巴黎去工作，她清楚这是因为她能在批评压力下保持冷静，正是自己的工作表现赢得了上司的赞赏。而她的下一次晋升就取决于她在巴黎的工作表现。

"It's essential to build regard if you're going to be able to do what you want in your job," she says. Winning respect enhances all you do. A proposal for change is more likely to be well received; an application for a raise or a request for promotion is more likely to succeed.
她说：“如果你想在工作上大展拳脚，实施你自己的想法，别人对你的重视相当关键。”这种重视能让你更顺利地达到目的，比如说人家会更仔细地研究你提出来的改革方案，你提薪或升迁的申请也更能得到满意的答复。

GENTLE PERSUASION 温柔的说服力

The woman who builds her professional edge in this way isn't condemned to loneliness and isolation. You can be firm without being unpleasant, and being tough doesn't mean being rude or confrontational. Persuasive and assertive are the watch words.
以此构筑自己专业优势的女性不会注定孤独或受到别人的隔离。因为你可以通过不令人生厌的方式表达你的不同意见，坚决并不代表要粗暴或挑衅，要做到耐心劝服与坚定自信并重。

"To make the right decisions and push them through, you will need the kid gloves more often than the boxing gloves," Lumley suggests. And a sense of humor is vital.
詹妮·伦莉说：“做出一个正确的决定并去实现它，你更需要的是哄小孩的耐性，而不是要和自己的同事拼个你死我活。”幽默感也是很重要的一环。

If you're doing your job properly you'll seldom be everyone's favorite person. But the payoff comes in the form of a deeper liking and admiration. Respect is like money in the bank: You have to put it in before you can draw it out. Don't worry about popularity, work on respect. That will take you a lot further in the long run.
尽职做工作并不能使你成为大家都喜欢的人物，可这样做的报酬却相当可观，它能让你得到更深层次的喜爱和仰慕。尊敬就如同银行里的钱一样：在提款之前你必须先往里面存款！不用担心自己的人气指数，让别人注意到你的工作表现，从长远来说，这能助你迈向成功之路。

（来源：搜狐教育 英语点津 Annabel 编辑）