最离谱的请假借口 The Most Ridiculous Excuses for Skipping Work

美国一家招聘网站盘点了2014年最离谱的请假借口，其中包括“一不小心上了一架飞机”，“把工作制服放在微波炉里烘干，结果着火了”“一觉醒来，心情倍儿棒，不想毁了好心情”……大开脑洞吧？别急，更离谱的还在后面呢！

For the last 10 years, job listing site CareerBuilderhas put out a list it calls “The Most Unbelievable Excuses for Calling in Sick.” In 2013, an employee said he couldn’t come in because his false teeth flew out the window while he was driving down the highway. Another claimed that someone had glued her windows and doors shut so she couldn’t get out of her house. In 2014, the excuses include a worker who said he felt he had to stay at a casino when he had money left after a gambling weekend. Then there was the employee who said she couldn’t come in because she had woken up in a good mood and didn’t want to ruin it. I like this one from a past survey: Employee said the ghost in his house kept him up all night.

Excuses were gathered through a Poll that ran from Aug. 11 to Sept. 5, 2014, among 3,000 workers and 2,000 hiring managers.

The list is entertaining—one employee said she couldn’t come to work because she had just put a casserole in the oven—but there is a more serious issue underlying this story. Federal law does not require private employers to give any paid sick leave, making the US the only one of the world’s wealthiest nations that doesn’t guarantee workers this right. Since 2006, cities and states have been adopting their own paid sick leave laws. California, Connecticut, Washington, DC and 13 cities including New York now require many employers to provide some sort of paid sick leave. But according to the Institute for Women’s Policy Research, 39% of private employees still have no access to paid days off. In the CareerBuilder survey, 38% of respondents said they go to work when they’re sick because they can’t afford to miss a day’s pay. The survey also shows that workers are taking a risk when they come up with far-fetched excuses. Nearly one in five employers (18%) says they have fired an employee for calling in sick with a fake excuse. If you’re spending the day at the beach while pretending to be ill, don’t post about it on Facebook. Nearly one in four employers (24%) has caught an employee lying about being sick by checking social media.

The motto of this story: If you really are sick, don’t come to work and spread your germs around the office. But if you just want to stay home, go with, “I’m running a fever,” rather than one of these ridiculous excuses.

1. I just put a casserole in the oven.

2. My plastic surgery needed some “tweaking” to get it just right.

3. I was sitting in the bathroom and my feet and legs fell asleep. When I stood up, I fell and broke my ankle.

4. I had been at the casino all weekend and still had money left to play with on Monday morning.

5. I woke up in a good mood and didn’t want to ruin it.

6. I had a “lucky night” and didn’t know where I was.

7. I got stuck in the blood pressure machine at the grocery store and couldn’t get out.

8. I had a gall stone I wanted to heal holistically.

9. I caught my uniform on fire by putting it in the microwave to dry.

10. I accidentally got on a plane.

Vocabulary 

1.CareerBuilder: 凯业必达招聘网，是北美最大的招聘网站运营商，也是全球访问量最大的30家网站之一；call in sick: 请病假。

2.glue: v. 用胶水粘。

3.casino: 赌场。

4.casserole: 砂锅。

5.美国联邦法律不允许私营企业雇主给员工带薪病假，在世界最富有的国家中，唯独美国员工不享有此项权利。

6.respondent:（民意调查的）调查对象。

7.far-fetched: 牵强的，不可信的。

8.原则是：如果你真的病了，就别来上班，不要把细菌传播到办公室。motto: 座右铭，箴言。

9.我的整形手术需要一些“调整”来使其恰到好处。tweak: 微调。

10.gall stone: 胆结石；holistically: 全面地。

（来源：英语学习杂志 编辑：许晶晶）