In a bad place?

Reader question:

Please explain “in a bad place”, as in this sentence: Failing to make the team, I was in a bad place about who I am and what I can do. I feel like I’m in a better place now.

My comments:

By “place”, the speaker is talking about his or her state of mind rather than any physical place or location. What he or she means to convey is that they lost all confidence in themselves after failing to make the team, a sports team, for example.

At that time, they were in turmoil mentally and emotionally. They were no longer happy. They no longer believed in themselves. They felt like they were no good.

Fortunately, that situation changed. Now, they feel better – both about themselves and what they can accomplish in the world.

“In a bad place”, as an idiom, refers to the metaphorical state or situation one finds oneself in where one, usually, is suffering from something very bad that’s just happened. In that situation, one feels very down and perhaps depressed.

In other words, they’re in a bad way. They’re troubled. They’re not well.

That’s about it.

I must add, though, as a matter of fact, “in a bad place” sounds more serious than all of the above. I mean, one who’s in a bad place is in a really bad way. They’re really troubled. They’re really unwell.

So, don’t expect them to act normal, like, be cool and collected, bright and cheerful. Once the bad situation facing them passes, as bad situations do pass (as do the good ones), they’ll be their normal bright and cheerful selves again.

In other words, they’ll be in a good place once again.

All right, let’s read a few recent media examples to hammer the point home:

1. Sir Alex Ferguson offering pearls of wisdom to fellow managers is nothing new. The legendary Manchester United manager was known throughout his career for being a sounding board to less experienced gaffers.

But football fans will be thrilled to know he’s still at it today, more than 10 years after his own retirement. In an exclusive chat with FourFourTwo, current Wigan Athletic manager Shaun Maloney revealed how he reached out to his compatriot following his sacking by Hibernian in 2022, after less than a year in the job.

“Things started well at Hibs, but we lost some of our best attacking players in the January,” Maloney tells FFT. “My relationship with people behind the scenes became strained and I left after four months in the job. I was in a bad place after that and spoke to Sir Alex Ferguson. He told me that it might end up being the best thing to ever happen to me, which I couldn’t comprehend at the time. But he was right – it had been a huge learning curve – and those words helped me.”

Maloney became Wigan manager in January 2023. The former midfielder, who won the FA Cup with the Latics as a player in 2013, has since managed to get his managerial career back on track – even following relegation in his first six months in charge.

- Shaun Maloney exclusive: ‘I was in a bad place, so I spoke to Sir Alex Ferguson – he helped me see things differently’, FourFourTwo.com, March 12, 2024.

2. Angela Scanlon discussed her 15-year battle with eating disorders during an interview on Loose Women on Tuesday.

The Irish television presenter, 40, said of her anorexia and bulimia: “It isn’t necessarily one of the other. They go in cycles, it can sometimes feel really bleak.”

She added: “From my late teens or early 20s, for 15 years, I was in a bad place. For me, the turning point was a friend of mine, who was also suffering, saying we are just going to have the illnesses forever.

“And to her it felt like a comforting, a support in numbers. But for me, I really kicked against that notion of having to stay in that very small space for a long time.”

It was Angela’s first-ever appearance on the show, and she later took to Instagram to joke that she had popped her “Loose Women cherry”.

In 2023, Angela revealed to Weekend Magazine she used to feel a bit like a swan – elegant on the surface while paddling furiously underneath.

She appeared to have it all, with a burgeoning career as one of the UK’s most in-demand broadcasters thanks to appearances on The One Show and as host of BBC2’s interiors hit Your Home Made Perfect, as well as her own chat show in Ireland and a popular podcast.

But beneath the facade Angela was racked by insecurity. She had an eating disorder that began in her teens, and by the age of 20 she was often surviving on black coffee and tinned pineapple.

Her anorexia and bulimia were later replaced with workaholism.

“I think an eating disorder is about trying to control things, when everything feels out of your power,” she said.

“It took me much longer to recognise I’d replaced the eating disorder with work, as I believed I’d sorted myself out.

“I’d built a career and a life I enjoyed. But it wasn’t until later I realised that when I slowed down, the problems were still the same. I think anyone with an addiction will recognise it’s easy to swap one for another.”

The result was a feeling of emptiness that Angela explores in her deeply personal recent book Joyrider, in which she describes not only her troubles but also what helped save her – tapping into her natural resources of joy and gratitude for the small positives in life.

- Angela Scanlon details 'bleak' 15-year battle with anorexia and bulimia as she admits she was 'in a very bad place', DailyMail.co.uk, May 28, 2024.

3. Jennifer Lopez attempted to keep a low-key presence as she was seen leaving her husband Ben Affleck’s home on his 52nd birthday amid ongoing divorce rumors.

This week, J.Lo was seen ducking and keeping a low profile as she swung by Ben’s home during his birthday celebrations amid ongoing speculation that the couple is headed for divorce. However, despite rumors that their romance is on the rocks, the 55-year-old singer still made sure to stop by for his special day. This comes as Ben was noticeably absent for her birthday and spent the day officially finalizing buying his new bachelor pad.

On August 15, the Atlas star was seen with her head crouched low as she entered her vehicle after exiting Ben’s residence. For the milestone, J.Lo looked casual and cute as she was seen rocking a pair of flattering two-toned jeans, a brown jacket, massive hoop earrings, and her long caramel locks tied back in a high ponytail.

Jennifer was seen swinging by Ben’s home in Brentwood after his ex-wife Jennifer Garner also paid a visit to the star on his big day. Garner was seen stopping by his home earlier in the day where he was likely also joined by their three shared children including their 18-year-old daughter Violet, 15-year-old daughter Seraphina Rose, and 12-year-old son Samuel. And as his ex-wife often stops by Ben’s place to see her kids, she has also been lending a supportive shoulder and understanding ear to him as he has been at the center of ongoing divorce speculation.

Over the past few months, the 13 Going on 30 star has been a consistent visitor for Affleck despite the pair breaking off their romance over a decade ago. According to OK Magazine, the 52-year-old actress has been visiting the actor “a few times a week” amid alleged marital troubles with Lopez.

Speaking on their current relationship dynamic, a source told the news outlet: “The last thing in the world Jen wants to do is pick up the pieces of Ben and J.Lo’s broken relationship, but she has no choice.” They added: “People close to Ben [Affleck] have been concerned about him for some time. He’s in a bad place and has been isolated.”

And while Lopez was seen paying her husband a visit in person, she fell short of wishing him a happy birthday on social media. Instead of sharing a heartfelt tribute to her man, the Hollywood star took the day to shine some light on herself. On August 15, the On the Floor hitmaker shared a photo dump of her posing in a gorgeous figure-hugging sheer Dior gown. Each of the three photos that J.Lo posted were taken during her upscale 55th birthday, which she celebrated in the Hamptons last month.

- Jennifer Lopez keeps low-profile as she visits Ben Affleck’s house on his 52nd birthday, TheMirror.com, August 16 2024.

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About the author:

Zhang Xin is Trainer at chinadaily.com.cn. He has been with China Daily since 1988, when he graduated from Beijing Foreign Studies University. Write him at: zhangxin@chinadaily.com.cn, or raise a question for potential use in a future column.

（作者：张欣）