THE POPULARITY TRAP 人气陷阱
Respect versus popularity-it is the old conflict between being professional
and being personal. We want to do a good job, but we want to be friends with
everyone, too. The truth is, you can't always be liked if you do your job
properly. And the desire to keep everyone happy can become a weakness.
"At best," says management consultant Jennie Lumley, "worrying about what
others think makes us reactive when we need to be proactive. At worst, we're so
busy playing the office sweetheart that we lose sight of the demands of the job
and our needs."
This is a particular problem for female professionals, Lumley finds. "It's a
childhood hangover. We all long to be the most popular girl in school. Also,
girls are brought up to try to please. This need to be liked gets in the way of
career progress. At work, men don't give a thought to what others think so long
as they get their way."
AT TIMES YOU HAVE TO BE TOUGH
Although we would all love to be Ms Popular at home and in the office, at
work the task is not to be liked, but to be effective, says computer sales
executive Andrea. 电脑销售主管安德莉认为，虽然我们都想成为家里或办公室的受欢迎人士，可工作的性质不是要求人们要招人喜爱，而是一定要有工作效率。
"This is possibly the single most important lesson we can learn. You can't
always be popular. You shouldn't have to be; it's not what you're there for.
Progress depends on having your own ideas and sticking to them. And that means
having the guts to make difficult decisions when you have to," she says.
The soft decision is never a real option, as many women find. Pat had to deal
with a colleague who had repeatedly been warned about her absenteeism, and now
had to be told to go. When Pat tried to fire her, the colleague was so
distraught, Pat gave her another chance.
"It was a disaster," Pat says. "I had fired her and she'd walked away from
it. My colleagues were resentful. I lost their respect, my bosses' and my own.
And I still had to deal with her in the end!"
We're aware from day one in our first job that every decision we make is
either a building block or a stumbling block on our career path. We should use
the time to lay the groundwork of future respect by being professional,
responsible, innovative, diligent and reliable.
Respect is never given for nothing. Claire knew that she was offered a move
to Paris with her finance company because she had gained a reputation for
keeping cool under fire. And the next step up the ladder would depend on her
performance in Paris.
"It's essential to build regard if you're going to be able to do what you
want in your job," she says. Winning respect enhances all you do. A proposal for
change is more likely to be well received; an application for a raise or a
request for promotion is more likely to succeed.
GENTLE PERSUASION 温柔的说服力
The woman who builds her professional edge in this way isn't condemned to
loneliness and isolation. You can be firm without being unpleasant, and being
tough doesn't mean being rude or confrontational. Persuasive and assertive are
the watch words.
"To make the right decisions and push them through, you will need the kid
gloves more often than the boxing gloves," Lumley suggests. And a sense of humor
If you're doing your job properly you'll seldom be everyone's favorite
person. But the payoff comes in the form of a deeper liking and admiration.
Respect is like money in the bank: You have to put it in before you can draw it
out. Don't worry about popularity, work on respect. That will take you a lot
further in the long run.
（来源：搜狐教育 英语点津 Annabel 编辑）