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最精彩的神回复,笑到根本停不下来

网络 2018-11-21 13:24

心情不好一定要看些开心的东西,缓解一下低气压。

今天,给大家带来一些精彩的中英文神回复,内容遍及知乎、微博、Buzzfeed等等,一起来看看。

01  中国哪里的姑娘最漂亮?

Where can you find the most beautiful girls in China?

微信朋友圈

Wechat Moments

02  请给出一句很有内涵的诗句

Please name a thought-provoking sentence from a poem.

一懒众衫小。

Once lazy, all your clothes get smaller.

03  如何理解“穷不是一种状态”?

What's the meaning of 'poverty is not a certain situation'?

穷是一种常态。

It's the common situation.

04  问世上不会游泳的动物是?

What animals on earth can not swim?

媳妇和妈

Your wife and your mother.

05  如果被车撞飞10米远,爬起来之后说什么最帅?

What is the coolest thing to say after you got hit by a car and managed to stand up again?

下一辆!

Next!

06  妈,我是你的什么?

Mother, what am I to you?

因果报应

My karma.

07  为什么前女友还会一直关注我呢?

What could be the reason that my ex still follows me on social networks?

知道你过得不好我也就放心了

Knowing that you still mess everything up makes my day.

08  为什么打群架的时候普遍会脱掉上衣?

Why do people usually take off their clothes when starting a gang fight?

假如脱掉裤子的话,总觉得有哪里不对,气氛怪怪的。

Because it would be weird to take off your pants.

09  怎么反驳“你行你上啊”的逻辑?

How should I respond to 'You can you up'?

我评论个鸡蛋不好吃,还得自己下个蛋啊?

So I need to lay an egg to criticize an egg's flavor?

10  如何一个月减肥40斤?

By what means can I lose 20 kilograms in a month?

截肢

Amputation.

11  怎样含蓄地表达“我已经被收买了”?

How can I subtly suggest that I've been compromised?

我说句公道话……

Let me say this impartially...

12  为什么你长痘痘?

Why do you have pimples?

因为我可爱得冒泡。

Because I'm just bubble-bubbly cute.

13  打雷的时候关窗户有用吗?

Does it work to close the window when it's thundering outside?

没用的,我试过了。关了窗雷一样在打。

No, it won't. I've tried. It was still thundering outside after I closed the window.

14  你见过哪些概率极小极小的事件?

What extremly-small-probability event have you witnessed?

20道完形填空,全错。

Done a cloze test of 20 questions with 0 answer right.

15  妹子还书的时候夹了一张面巾纸,什么意思?

What does a girl mean when she return your book but with a facial tissue in it?

说明你对人家有意思。

This means you are paying extra attention to her.

16  两千元人民币,想出国穷游,可以去哪些国家?

To which country can I do a budget travel with 2,000 RMB?

秦鲁齐蜀韩郑魏楚赵燕吴等等...

For example, all the ancient countries that used to be China.

17  想养一只鹦鹉,教它说一些什么话好?

I wanna keep a parrot as pet. What would be cool to teach it to say?

救命,我被变成鹦鹉了!

Help! They've turned me into a parrot!

18  呆萌和脑残的界限是?

What is the boundry between 'clumsy' and 'stupid'?

“和”

the "and"

19  为什么女生有体香,而男生没有?

Why do women give out sweet scent but men don't?

化妆品腌入味了。

The makeup is fermenting.

20  男生说什么话,女生会觉得很大气?

What would be manly for a man to say in front of a girl?

I'll pay.

21  热恋是一种怎样的体验?

How does it feel to love somebody insanely?

两个长得像猪一样的人,还怕对方被抢走了。

Two people who are on no aspect attractive worry about each other being stolen by someone else.

22  有什么赞扬让你比较尴尬?

Is there any compliment that makes you awkward?

人不可貌相啊。

We really cannot judge a book by its cover, can we?

23  你怎么一个人逛街啊?

Why are you shopping all by yourself?

半个人逛街我怕吓着你。

I fear it would scare you to death if I were shopping all by no one.

24  单身两年以上是什么体验?

How does it feel to be single for more than 2 years?

单身22年,不知道你说的是哪两年?

I've been single for 22 years. Which 2 years are you suggesting?

25  地球外面那一层叫什么?

How do you call the outside layer of Earth?

香飘飘奶茶

Xiang Piao Piao milk tea.

26  要是在古代,姐的颜值能撑起整个青楼。

Back in the ancient times, a face like mine can hold a whole brothel.

你是说你长得像柱子吗?

You mean you look like a pillar?

27  很高兴为你服务。

I'm glad to be at your service.

你高兴得太早了。

You'll find out you got glad too fast.

28  北冥有鱼,其名为鲲。

Once in the northern sea, there was a fish and people called it Kun.

众人食之,完。

And people ate it. The end.

29  妈,我能看电视吗?

Mom, can I watch the television?

当然可以啊,只要不打开就行

Of course you can, as long as it's turned off.

30  你得揣摩出题人的意图。

You need to understand why they set this question in the first place.

他想我死。

They want me dead.

31  你知道吗?你最终会变成你讨厌的人。

You know what? You eventually become someone you loathe.

借你吉言,我讨厌有钱人。

Thanks, I loathe people who are rich.

32  国庆去北京旅游有什么好建议吗?

Gonna be traveling in Beijing during the National Day vacation. Any suggestion?

别去。

Don't go.

33  等我瘦了就回来找你

I'll come back for you when I get slim.

如果你不想见我,其实可以直说。

You can level with me if you don't want to see me.

34  有史以来最伟大的虚构人物是谁?

Who is the greatest fictional character in history?

别人家的小朋友。

Someone else's child.

35  你看看别人家的男朋友,都是吃女朋友吃剩下的饭!!!

Look at other girls' boyfriends. They eat their grilfriends' leftover.

那你倒是给我剩点啊。

Sounds as if you ever left any over.

36  为什么秀恩爱通常选择在中午?

Why do people always show off their relationships at noon?

因为早晚会有报应。

Because sooner or later karma will come to them.

37  请用一个词来形容你的男朋友。

Please use one word to describe your boyfriend.

哪?

Where?

38  被人追了怎么拒绝?

How do I successfully reject someone who is pursuing me?

立即卸妆

Remove your makeup, right now, right there.

39  为了让你好好学习,父母都给过你什么?

What did your parents give you to make you study harder?

这张脸。

This face.

40  参观一个世界奇观时,你最想了解哪些信息?

What do you want to know the most when you visit a World Wonder?

这附近有什么好吃的吗?

What can I find to eat around there?

41  我要如何才能显得很高冷?

How can I look high-end and cool?

搬去喜马拉雅。

Move to the Himalayas.

42  为什么有的男生追女生追到一半不追了?

Why do some boys give up half-way pursuing a girl?

你倒是给个进度条啊。

Why don't you display a progress bar?

43  为什么在洗完澡之后,有些人会觉得自己变漂亮了?

Why do some people find themselves prettier after they take a shower?

脑子进水了。

The brain has water damage.

(来源:网络  编辑:yaning)

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