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你做过的最奇葩的兼职是什么?大家的回复太神奇

沪江英语 2021-01-10 08:00

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对很多青少年来说,暑假兼职是人生的必经之路,他们在父母的劝勉之下,放下浮躁的心态,通过这堂宝贵的社会课堂学习责任感、正确的金钱观,懂得刻苦努力的重要性。

不论你赚钱的目的是为了买自行车,购置人生第一辆私人汽车还是买一件毕业舞会上穿的礼服,开始投身到兼职中去时我们总是满怀期待,希望能自由独立起来,我们几乎感觉自己已经是合格的成年人了,可是,现实往往不尽如人愿。

美国脱口秀主持人Jimmy Fallon素来喜欢在社交网络上发起各种传奇式的标签话题挑战赛,他为我们做出了一项巨大的贡献:请人们在社交网络上分享他们最糟糕的暑假兼职经历。不用多说,大家晒出的段子里有不少货真价实的经典笑料。BoredPanda精选了一组上述段子,一起来看一看吧!

 

 

1. I worked at a historic site once where I had to dress as a bison and be chased by hordes of 5 year olds in a bison hunt. Once after being killed in the bison hunt I was breathing too heavily from running. One of them yelled ”it’s alive” and punched me in the face.

我在一个历史博物馆工作,要装扮成野牛的样子,在一个名为“捕猎野牛”的活动中被一群5岁的熊孩子狂追。有一次我被他们猎到后,他们把我“杀”了,可是,由于我刚被狂追了一阵,还在粗声地喘气,一个熊孩子大喊“它还活着”,然后在我脸上狠狠揍了一拳。

 

 

 

2. I was 10 and went to my grandfather farm he gave me 10$ to be a scar crow. I stood there in the sun yelling for an hour until my mom came and yelled at him.

我10岁的时候,去外公的农场玩,他给了我10美元,让我去扮稻田里的稻草人。于是我顶着大太阳在田里站了一个小时,还要大声吼叫。直到我妈来了我才解脱,她还吼了我外公一顿。

 

 

 

3. I was hired at an elderly people’s home for patients with dementia. On my first day I accidently pressed the door button and the old people escaped. We had to run through town rounding them up.

我受雇在一个老年之家做兼职。那里的老人都有老年痴呆症。入职第一天我不小心按了一个按钮,把大门打开了,于是那些老人都逃了出去。我们不得不跑遍全镇才把他们都捉回来。

 

 

 

4. As a public school teacher in North Carolina, I don’t make much money. So I had to deliver pizzas one summer. My second delivery was to one of my former students. Her first words,”what, you get fired?”

作为一个在卡罗来纳州北部公立学校教书的老师,我收入微薄,一年暑假我不得不送披萨外卖赚钱。我的第二单生意送到了一个过去的学生家里。她看到我的第一句话是,“什么,你被炒鱿鱼了吗?”

 

 

 

5. Working at a nursing home at 17 year old. A woman of 79 year old accused me of stealing and wearing her adult diaper to steal her 87-year-old boyfriend cause It padded my butt and made me appear to have a butt like hers that he loved. She never allowed me in her room after that...

17岁的时候我曾经在一个养老院做兼职,一个79岁的老奶奶控诉我偷窃还擅自穿了她的成人纸尿裤。她说我穿她的纸尿裤的目的是垫衬自己的屁股,让我的屁股看起来像她的,好抢走她87岁的男朋友,她男朋友就喜欢那样的屁股。从那之后她再也不让我进她的房间了……

 

 

 

6. Had a job walking five chihuahuas. When they got tired, I had to carry them home. Two in my arm, two on my shoulders and one on my head.

要溜5只吉娃娃,它们走累了我还要把它们抱回家。两只抱在手里,两只搭在我肩膀上,还有一只骑在我的头上。

 

 

 

7. When I had to play Kid (uncredited) every summer for 3 years.

连续3年每年夏天都去当群众演员,每年演的都是“某小孩”。

 

 

 

8. I was babysitting two kids. One ran out the front door, one went out the back. When I ran around the house to find them, they ran back inside, locked me out, and turned the sprinklers on.

给两个小孩当保姆。其中一个朝前门跑,一个往后门跑。为了找到他们我跑遍了整个屋子,他们又掉头跑回来,把我关在外面,还把花园里的洒水器打开了。

 

 

 

9. I earned $30 working construction for a temp agency one day in college. When I finished, there was a $35 parking ticket on my car. I refer to it as the day I paid to work...

有一次在一个大学校园里为临时工中介干活,赚了30美元。完工后,我发现自己要支付35美元的违规停车罚单。我把这一天称作我掏钱工作的日子。

 

(来源:沪江英语)

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