[ 2006-08-10 09:55 ]
The silence of men in
general is overtalked about and overcriticized. To be sure, men never open up as
much as women want them to, but there is a wordless understanding in which we
function fairly well especially in friendships.
I believe, in fact, that most women would prefer a man to be
gloomily uncommunicative than to spill his guts at the drop of a hat.
The push for men to express their feelings presumes that we have
feelings, and we do have a few, but they remain submerged, and the airing of
them often violates their authenticity.
I am no biologist, but my guess
is that the male human animal was programmed for silence. I would go so far as
to argue that men were programmed to be isolated from one another and that
aloneness is our natural state. Silence in male friendships is our way of being
alone with each other.
Once men have established a friendship that
itself is the word. The affection is obvious, at least to us. A main component
of our silence is an appreciation of the affection.