“帮我翻译个东西吧”——“给钱吗兄dei？”

我们常有这样的困惑，不怎么熟的人冷不丁的找上你让你给TA帮点忙，貌似也不主动提报酬，而且你自己手头事儿也不少，该答应还是不答应呢？

传统上，自己力所能及的小事儿，帮一下也就算了，顺水人情。不过就怕以后人家压根儿也不记得。

最近越来越多的人主张，你提的要求虽然是我能力范围内的事情，但也是我谋生的本事，辛辛苦苦培养出来的技能要给人免费打工，大概没有人会乐意。

reddit网站一名网友就有亲身经历，他说：

I had my own gig designing...well, everything: websites, logos, ads, brochures, video, etc. Always got asked to do something for free because it “might lead to something else”.
我的工作是设计……呃……设计很多东西：网站、商标、广告、小册子、视频等等。就老是有人要我免费帮TA干活儿，不然就会“有别的不好的影响”。

Did it a few times, nothing came out of it, then when I wanted to charge for something the person was outraged and basically stopped talking to me.
我也帮过几次，结果没有任何报酬，然后我就跟人提了收费的事儿，结果人家很生气，再也没理过我。

他的经历可能就是你的经历。有人在底下回复说：

If your friend owns a business, don't ask for a friend discount or for some free products, a great friend is one that pays full price to support their friend. Real friends don't take advantage of their hardworking friends trying to make a living. Real friends try to help them out on their journey.
如果你有个朋友是做生意的，你就别叫人家给你打折或者免费了，好朋友就应该付全款支持自己的朋友才对。真朋友是不会从自己朋友谋生的血汗里面捞好处的。真朋友会一路帮他们。

应付这样的情况也有妙招，有一名网友就支招说：

That has happened to me so many times it stopped bothering me. People think nothing of asking their friend the designer to work for free. I started telling people that their design was going to take me an hour, cutting my grass takes an hour. If they'll come cut my grass I'll spend that hour working on their project.
我以前也碰到过好多次这样的事儿，现在我已经不受这些事困扰了。有人叫人帮忙设计个啥的时候根本不会想到要给报酬。我后来就开始告诉他们，设计这个要花上我一个小时，我割个草也要一小时。如果你愿意过来帮过修剪草坪，我就帮你设计。

NOBODY has ever taken me up on it including the two friends with lawn care businesses. These days I just say no, I'm too backed up with paying work.
后来就再也没有人叫我免费打工了，甚至包括两个做割草生意的朋友。现在我就直接拒绝，我十分支持有偿劳动。

有偿劳动的确是必要的，毕竟现在的人到手的工资本就不多，北上广深的话交个房租等于腰斩，都没钱在啤酒里泡枸杞了。

Reddit网站对于现代社交总结了许多tips，我们汇编了一些，分享给大家。

If you are the only one trying to maintain a friendship, they aren't your friend and your time and energy would be better spent somewhere else.
如果在一段友情里，你是那个唯一想要维护友情的人，那他们就不是你的朋友。你也不需要把时间和精力花在这儿。

If someone is clearly depressed, prefers alone time, or needs your help before something bad happens, this is not the tip for you to follow. Please reach out to that person and let them know you care.
如果你的朋友的确很沮丧，想要一个人静静，或者是为了避免更糟糕的情况，急需你的帮助，那就别抛弃他们。一定要伸出援手，让他们知道你很在乎他们。

But if you have friends who you consistently try to make plans with, they decline or take a rain check with a "oh we'll have to hang out soon" and never get back with you, yet you see them out with other friends all the time, then yes, this is very applicable. You deserve better friends.
不过如果你的朋友是你老是得为TA改变计划的那种——他们要么拒绝，要么说“下次吧”、“改天我们再出去玩儿”，结果后来也没回音了，但是你却看到TA有时间天天和别人出去玩儿——那，该怎么做你很清楚。你值得更好的朋友。

If you really want to connect with someone, take them for a long, scenic walk. Not being face to face takes some of the pressure off, and the scenery puts you in the right mood to open up.
如果你很想和某个人加深关系，不妨带TA们出去散个步，周边景致很好可以散很久的那种。免去了面对面的交流可以消除一部分社交压力，而且优美的风景能让你们心情好得敞开心扉。

Don't ask people if they're free on a certain date without specifying why you're asking. Simply asking "are you free on Friday?" comes across like you're tricking the other person into doing whatever it is you want them to do.
先说清楚自己的目的，再问人家某天是否有空。如果只是问“周五你有空吗”这样的问题就会给人感觉你在诱使他们去做你自己想让他们做的事情。

If you constantly vent your problems to someone, make sure to also call them when things are going well. Good listeners can sometimes get overwhelmed, and it's nice to hear positive news. To add to that, also make sure you're available to let them vent their problems. Relationships are a two way street.
如果你不停地跟某个人诉苦，那最好在事情步入正轨之后给TA们一个信儿。贴心的倾听者们有时候也会懵，所以最好让他们收到好消息。另外还有一点就是，你自己也得保证有空听他们倒苦水。毕竟人际关系是双向的。

If you have a chore that you actually enjoy, never tell anyone you enjoy it.
如果有一件其实你很喜欢做的杂务，千万不要告诉任何人！

You'll do that chore for the rest of your days, even if you stop enjoying it.
要么你就得做一辈子，哪怕之后你不再喜欢做这件事了……

You get no credit for doing that chore, since it’s really not even a chore, right?
要么再也不会有人因为你做的这件事情表扬你了，毕竟对你来讲不算是杂务了，不是吗？

编辑：李雪晴