相亲碰到这7种人 一定要果断放弃 7 red flags you can spot on a first date

面对形形色色的相亲对象，又没有火眼金睛，要如何分辨谁才适合你呢？专家警告，初次约会有以下7种表现的人，条件再好也不要陷进去。

1. They're very late. 迟到很长时间

Issues with traffic or public transportation are inevitable for most people, so tardiness isn't always a red flag.

谁都难免有碰上交通拥堵的时候，所以初次约会迟到也不一定能说明问题。

But if your date is more than a few minutes late — and doesn't seem to care that you've been waiting for a lengthy period of time — consider that a first strike.

但如果你的约会对象迟到的时间不止是几分钟，而且似乎也不在意让你等了那么久，这就很成问题。

2. They're too pushy. 太猴急

Your date may try to convince you that they deserve to be invited back to your place because they bought you a drink or spent some time with you.

你的约会对象可能试图说服你，让你邀请他去你家，就因为他给你买了饮品或和你共度了一段时光。

"If they're insisting on inviting you to their place, or pushing to go over to yours, that's a bad sign," Rori Sassoon, founder of Platinum Poire matchmaking service, told INSIDER. "They don't need to know where you live right now."

婚恋机构Platinum Poire 创始人罗瑞·萨孙告诉Insider网站说：“如果对方坚持要邀请你去他家，或者执意要去你家，这就不妙了。初次约会的对象不需要知道你住在哪儿。”

3. They get too personal too fast. 太早吐露心声

There's nothing wrong with opening up to someone new, but it shouldn't all come out at once.

向新认识的人吐露心声没有错，但不应该一下子把什么都说出来。

"When people start telling you stuff that is really personal really quickly, it displays a kind of neediness and clinginess that shows they're just going to use you as a vehicle for unloading for the relationship," Sassoon said. "It's all about them, they don't ask a question, they don't really care, they just want to vomit about their whole entire life."

萨孙说：“如果对方很快就告诉你一些很私密的事情，这说明他缺乏安全感又黏人，和你交往只是为了倾诉和发泄。他们只会谈论自己，不会问关于你的问题，不会真正在乎你，只是为了一吐为快。”

Basically, if a first date feels like a therapy session — one in which you have unwittingly become the therapist — get out ASAP.

如果初次约会让你感觉像在给对方做心理治疗，自己无意间就成了心理咨询师，那就应尽快抽身离去。

4. They make the date feel like a job interview. 把相亲搞得像求职面试

On the other hand, you don't want the date to feel like a job interview.

另一方面，你也不希望初次约会搞得像求职面试吧。

You don't automatically need to eliminate a potential partner if they're overly inquisitive — some people might ask a lot of questions when they get nervous, or they could genuinely be fascinated by you — but it's worth asking them some questions too, just to see if they open up about themselves or just go back to questioning you.

如果他们只是过于好奇，你也不一定要将此人拉黑。有些人一紧张就会问很多问题，但也可能是真的被你迷住了。不过你也可以问对方一些问题，看对方是坦然相告，还是继续审问你。

5. They can't seem to plan anything. 没有任何计划

If they refuse to take accountability for any part of a date — a time to meet, a bar to get drinks, or even what drinks you get — that's not a great sign, either.

如果对方不愿主动安排任何约会活动，包括定下约会时间、约会酒吧，甚至连点饮品也懒得，这可不是个好兆头。

6. They're hot and cold. 情绪善变

Be wary of a person who shows up to a first date and seems happy one moment and decidedly not the next — and for no apparent reason.

上一秒还很开心，但下一秒却莫名其妙地不开心了，初次约会要警惕这种人。

Being moody doesn't mean someone is a bad person. But if their behavior during an hour-long date is sporadic enough to make you feel on edge, they may not be ready for a relationship.

喜怒无常不意味着这个人是坏人。但如果在一个小时的约会过程中对方的情绪多变让你如坐针毡，那么这种人并不适合谈恋爱。

There are a number of things that might explain their behavior — like a fresh breakup or trouble at work — but trying to pursue a relationship with them could be a thankless task for you.

这种喜怒无常可能有很多原因——比如刚刚分手或工作中遇到了麻烦——但和这样的人谈恋爱会吃力不讨好。

7. They're too confrontational. 咄咄逼人

When you go on a date, it's possible that politics, religion, and other taboo topics may come up. But if a healthy debate turns into a one-sided screaming match, it's probably safe to cut your losses with this particular person.

在初次约会时可能会谈及政治、宗教和其他禁忌话题。但如果一场有益的讨论变成了一方的尖锐争论，那么最好还是和对方断交，及时止损。

"It's OK to agree to disagree on some things," Sassoon said. "But not everyone gets that, and if they make it clear on a first date, get out."

萨孙说：“人与人之间是可以求同存异的。不是每个人都懂得这个道理，如果第一次约会对方就非要争个是非黑白，那还是就此别过吧。”

英文来源：Insider

翻译&编辑：丹妮