想离婚就离婚？先冷静30天

The Civil Code, the first law defined as a "code" in the People's Republic of China, was passed on May 28. It regards all aspects of our lives.

5月28日，《中华人民共和国民法典》出台。作为中国首部以“法典”命名的法律，它与我们彼此的生活息息相关。

It sets a "cooling-off period", requiring couples who file for separation to wait 30 days before their request can be processed. During the month-long period, whoever changes the idea can retract his or her request.

其中，有条款设置了提交离婚登记申请后三十日的“离婚冷静期”。在此期间，任何一方不愿意离婚，都可以向婚姻登记机关撤回离婚登记申请。

It has stirred hot debate online. Some support the move, believing the "cooling-off period" to be a positive thing for furious couples that casually file for divorce after a quarrel, allowing them to avoid creating a trail of regret (the divorce filing is recorded, even if they reunite to marry again later).

一时间，网上热议沸腾。有人觉得，“离婚冷静期”的设立，对于那些头脑发热、吵个架拌个嘴一怒之下就嚷嚷散伙不过了的夫妻是好事，省得离婚太过草率随意，也避免给婚姻留下遗憾的痕迹（因为即使复婚，他们的人生中也留下“离过婚”的纪录）。

Some internet users, however, disagree and believe it sets a barrier to ending a marriage that is already dead, forcing "victims" in the union to endure unnecessary suffering when they are eager to walk away from an emotional impasse. Additionally, the critics posit that the new requirement will make people reluctant to marry, as it becomes harder to get a divorce.

但也有不少网民对此不满，认为这会给走出一段已死的婚姻设置障碍，让在婚姻中饱受伤害、希望早日获得重生的人经历不必要的折磨，更久地受困于僵局。他们担心离婚变得这么困难，会让人更不敢结婚。

But there is one thing which we all have to admit: All marriages are a mystery to outsiders. In China we have an old saying that likens marriage to sipping a mouthful of water — only the drinker knows if the temperature is suitable.

但有一个事实我们难以否认：任何婚姻对于外人，都是看不破的迷雾。而且，中国有句老话：“婚姻如人饮水，冷暖自知”。

For me, the news is reminiscent of the film Marriage Story, starring Adam Driver and Scarlett Johansson, which I watched recently.

前不久，我看了亚当·德赖弗和斯嘉丽·约翰逊主演的《婚姻故事》。以至于看到这新闻时，第一反应就是想起了这部电影。

In the film, arguably the best relationship-themed movie this year (taking into consideration that so few new movies have been released due to the pandemic forcing the worldwide closure of cinemas), Driver stars Charlie, a brilliant stage director, and Johansson plays his wife, Nicole, a one-time Los Angeles movie actress who relocates to New York to be with her husband. They have an eight-year-old son.

毕竟，因为疫情影响，全球影院都面临不同程度的惨淡歇业。这部片，某种程度来说，也是今年最佳的探讨两性关系的影片。“老司机”德赖弗饰演一个才华横溢的舞台剧导演查理，“寡姐” 约翰逊饰演妻子妮可，一个曾经在洛杉矶小有名气的电影演员。为了陪伴丈夫，她移居纽约。他们有一个八岁的儿子。

Although they look like a brilliant couple, their marriage has long been full of cracks. Charlie cheated and cares more about himself to "force" them live on his terms. When Nicole gets a well-paid offer, she returns to Los Angeles with their son, and files for divorce in the city. It ensues a grueling "battle" for separation amid the confrontation of their vicious attorneys.

尽管他们看上去是光鲜亮丽的一对，婚姻里却早就满是裂痕。查理出轨，他关心自己的事业远胜于关心妻子的需求。趁着一份不错的片约，妮可带着孩子回到洛杉矶，她提出离婚。双方律师的凶狠对弈，让离婚这个过程变得痛苦且满目疮痍。

But it's not a movie that makes you pick one side. It's hard to argue who is the one to be blamed. Charlie has his advantages while Nicole has her shortcomings.

但这不是一部让你选择站边的电影。他俩失败的婚姻，很难争得清谁对谁错。查理有他的闪光点，妮可也有自己的问题。

For me, the most surprising part of the story is that it makes me believe in love, despite it being a tale about divorce. The two still love each other, even in the moment that they hire attorneys to respectively strive for their individual benefit in court. They have to get a divorce because they both want to pursue their own dreams that, unfortunately, can't find harmony with their marriage.

对我来说，这个故事最迷人之处，是尽管讲述离婚，却会让人重新相信爱情。你能看到，他们眼中依旧有对彼此的爱，甚至在他们各自聘请律师，在法庭上为自己唇枪舌战争取利益时也是如此。而他们不得不离婚，只是因为他们都有着太过独立的灵魂。他们追求各自的梦想，而这恰恰在他们的婚姻里难以实现。

As the wait for the final result of their divorce proceedings drags on, they begin to realize the emotional harm they inflicted on each other. The torturous experience, however, finally allows them to find meaning in their marriage and helps them to peacefully move on.

在等待离婚程序最终结果的漫长过程中，他们开始意识到对彼此造成的伤害。然而，这段痛苦的经历最终让他们找到了婚姻的意义，并帮助他们各自平静地开始崭新人生。

So, I believe the "cooling-off period" may be useful for some couples. Even they still insist on getting the divorce after the 30 days, the month might help them to understand each other better and figure out the best way to achieve a fresh start in their lives.

时光是治愈伤痕的良药。我也相信，“离婚冷静期”或许也会对一些人管用。即使三十天后，他们仍坚持离婚，这段时间可能会帮助他们更好地了解彼此，并找到最好的方式重新开始各自的人生。

无论你已步入婚姻，还是仍在寻觅良人，欢迎分享你对“离婚冷静期”的看法。

记者：徐帆

来源：China Daily微信公众号