网红教授对年轻人的建议：别害怕为爱付出承诺 Jordan's Advice for Men and Women in Their 20s

20多岁的年轻人，难免对漫漫人生感到迷茫，渴望得到来自前辈的指引，不妨来听听加拿大多伦多大学心理学教授乔丹·彼得森（Jordan Peterson）的建议。

彼得森教授首先提到，年轻人不要害怕承担责任：

Don't be afraid of taking on responsibility. It's where you find what sustains in your life. You can take on too much responsibility; you have to be cautious in that regard. But that's a less common problem than not taking on enough. A lot of the things that people regard as traps are actually the means to their life.
不要害怕承担责任，这是你维系生命的所在。你可能会承担过多的责任，在这方面你必须谨慎。但比起没有承担足够责任来说，这是个小问题。很多人们视作陷阱的东西，实际上是他们赖以生活的方式。

很多年轻人不愿意轻易承诺一段感情，觉得自己有更重要的事情要做。但彼得森教授认为，事实上，为爱付出承诺是很有价值的一件事，甚至比大多数事情都更重要。

You know often young people are afraid of commitment, for example, in the context of a romantic relationship. And because they feel that that's going to interfere with their pursuit of something more valuable.
年轻人经常害怕做出承诺，例如在一段恋爱关系中。因为他们觉得这种承诺会妨碍他们追求一些更有价值的东西。

That's just not the case. You're not going to find something more valuable in your life than a committed relationship with someone you love that sustains itself across time.
但事实不是那样的。你在人生中未必会找到比和你爱的人共同奔赴一段感情更有价值的事。这种关系能跨越时间的限制。

根据心理学家埃里克森（Erik Homburger Erikson）的人格发展阶段理论（Erikson's stages of psychosocial development），20多岁的年轻人正处于成年早期（Early adulthood）。

在这个阶段中，年轻人经过了青春期的身份认同，开始准备与他人建立亲密关系：

Once people have established their identities, they are ready to make long-term commitments to others. They become capable of forming intimate, reciprocal relationships (e.g. through close friendships or marriage) and willingly make the sacrifices and compromises that such relationships require.
一旦人们确立了身份认同，他们就做好了对他人付出长期承诺的准备了。他们现在有能力形成亲密的、互相回应的关系（例如亲密的友谊或婚姻），并愿意为这种关系作出必要的牺牲和妥协。

reciprocal /rɪˈsɪprəkl/ ：相互的；回应的

If people cannot form these intimate relationships, a sense of isolation may result; arousing feelings of darkness and angst.
如果人们不能形成这类亲密关系，孤立感可能会由此产生，进而引发阴暗和忧虑的情绪。

身处20多岁的人生阶段，人生尚未定型，面临众多压力和选择，有迷茫感和焦虑感是十分正常的。而处于互联网时代中，海量信息的涌入更是会放大这些感觉。

现实的压力和困难要想办法解决，而在思想上我们也要充分做好准备，敢于承担责任、积极建立亲密关系，那些难熬的时光终会过去！

编辑：左卓
实习生：李修智