Susan: Okay, I've got to break the ice here. So you're in counseling.Big deal. You want humiliation, I'll give you humiliation. I locked myself out of my house, stark naked, and got caught by Mike.
Gabrielle: Oh my God, when did this happen?
Susan: Today. Right before the party.
Mike: What can I say? Right place, right time!
Lynette: I think I can top that. Try getting thrown out of Disneyland for lewd behavior.
Susan: What? When was this?
Lynette: When Tom and I were first married, thingsgot a little out of handon Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.
Rex: You're kidding.
Lynette: No. We got perp walked down Main Street USA.
Gabrielle: Since we're doing true confessions, Carlos and I once broke a waterbed in Cancun.
Mike: How'd you manage that?
Gabrielle: Well, he used to have a thing for spiked heels.
Carlos: I'd just like to make it clear: she was wearing them.
Bree: Rex cries after he ejaculates.
Bree: So, uh, where will you be going?
Rex: I'll be staying at the Motor Lodge.
Bree: The hotel by the interstate has better rates, and uh, it's closer to your work.
Rex: Fine.
Bree: I'm packing your swimsuit. There's a pool there, and I know how swimming relaxes you.
Rex: When our kids ask where I am, what are you gonna say?
Bree: Um, I could tell them that you went to tennis camp. That was a joke.
Rex: Yeah. I got it.
Bree:There. Obviously, if you've forgotten anything, you can, um, come right back and get it.
Rex: Well, I'll call you.
Bree: Rex. In college, when we first started dating, people were so jealous of us. We were thegolden couple. Everybody knew we were going to have this wonderful life. Why is this happening?
Rex: Because you can't even let me pack my own suitcase.
Susan: Hey!
Julie: Where are you going?
Susan: Just a sec...
Julie: Mom?
Susan: Don't worry, I'm notpacking heat!
Susan: Hey, Brandi. Could you scoot a little? Just, scoot. Thank you. Hi.
Karl: What are you doing?
Susan: I'll be quick. Brandi, I'm sorry for the way I treated you. It was uncalled for and childish and it won't happen again. I havebuilt up a lot of angertowards you, both of you, and I realize now that I just can't carry that around anymore, so, apology or no apology, I'mmoving on.
Brandi: Mrs Mayer!
Karl: Brandi. Brandi, get in the car.
Brandi: Mrs. Mayer...
Susan: Please. Call me Susan.
Brandi: I just wanted you to know what happened between me and Karl, things got out of hand, because I thought your marriage was over. Anyway, I just wanted you to know I'm sorry. I really am.
Susan: Thank you.
Mary Alice Young: And though it came from an unexpected source, Susan finally got the apology she always wanted.
妙语佳句，活学活用
1. Big deal
Big deal 的本意是指“重要的人或事”，例如：She is a big deal in local politics. 她在当地政界是个大人物。但是在这里，Susan说的是反语，意思是“不是什么大不了的事”。例如：So you got the job after all-well, big deal!
Susan: Okay, I've got to break the ice here. So you're in counseling.Big deal. You want humiliation, I'll give you humiliation. I locked myself out of my house, stark naked, and got caught by Mike.
