Michael: Where's the box? Does it come with directions?
Morty: Not necessary. Just point, click. Eventually, it will program itself.
Michael: How much is this thing? Because I ain't exactly Thurston Howell, you know?
Morty: Lucky for you, it's not in the bar code system yet. So I'm gonna have to just give it to you.
Michael: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's the catch here, man? Want me to take my shirt off for you? Because I don't play for that team.
Morty: Hey. Man, get out of here.
Michael: Why are you doing this, then?
Morty: Because good guys need a break every once in a while.
Michael: Take it.
Michael: All right.
Morty: Only one thing you need to know, Michael. This item is nonreturnable.
Michael: Why would I wanna return something I got for free?
Michael: Twinkie. You don't need it. You don't need it, man. You do need a Yodel, though. Okay. Good job. Let's see what you got, mate. Look at me, turning my own TV on. I'm a freaking whiz kid.
Donna: So I talked to the kids.
Michael: Oh, yeah?
Donna: They’ve been very understanding about not going camping this weekend.
Donna: They could have a sleepover instead.
Michael: That's a great idea. Thank you, thank you. Thanks for being so cool about this too.
Donna: Can I ask you something?
Donna: After you do all this work and become a big player at your company, do you really think you're gonna have more time for us, or are things just gonna get even more out of control?
Michael: Wait. Wait. When I get to that place and become a boss, a millionaire, a big shot, the first thing I'm gonna do is to hire a bunch of idiots just like me to do all my work. So then you, me and the kids can do whatever the hell we want. You just gotta give me some time. Don't give me that look. I'm just saying, give me some support. All right? I love you. Go to sleep.
Donna: Just think about it, Michael.
Donna: And stop with the Yodels. You're gonna wake up 400 pounds one day.
Michael: Okay. Hey, hey, hey. Keep it down, dude. Everybody's sleeping. You gotta poop again? Why don't you do the humpy-pumpy on the duck, okay? Will you just hold it in for five minutes and keep the freaking volume down?