Homer: All right, boy, time for the ultimate dare. I dare you to skateboard to Krusty Burger and back naked.
Bart: How naked?
Homer: Fourth base.
Bart: Girls might see my doodle.
Homer: Oh, I see. Then I hereby declare you chicken for life. Every morning, you'll wake up to ''Good morning, chicken.'' At your wedding, I'll sing…
Boy: I like men now.
Woman: Don't look where I'm pointing!
Policeman: Stop in the name of American squeamishness!
Flanders: Boys, before we eat, don't forget to thank the Lord for this bountiful--Penis?!
Kids: Bountiful penis. Amen.
Policeman: Listen, kid, nobody likes wearing clothes in public, but, you know, it's the law.
Policeman: Lunchtime!
Bart: You can't just leave me out here.
Policeman: Don't worry, we found a friend for you to play with.
Woman: Nelson, honey, where have you been?
Bart: Dad!
Homer: What seems to be the problem, officers?
Bart: Tell him you dared me to do it.
Policeman: If that's true, then you should betaking the rap here, not your son.
Homer: And what happens to me if it's my fault?
Policeman: You'll have to attend a one-hour parenting class.
Homer: It was all his idea! He's out of control, I tell you! I'm at my wits' end. It's so…
Policeman: See you in court, kid.
Homer: Okay, son, let's get some lunch.
Bart: Did you at least bring my clothes?
Homer: Shirt, socks, everything you need.
Bart: You didn't bring my pants.
Homer: Who am I, Tommy Bahama?
妙语佳句，活学活用
1. Fourth base
Fourth base 也就是垒球术语中的 home base （本垒），常用来比喻男女关系中进展到性关系这一步，这里面是指“全裸”。例如：I can't believe it, he got to fourth base on his first date with her! 我真不敢相信，他和她第一次约会就上床了。
这个片语的意思是“be punished or blamed for something因某事而受罚，承担刑事责任”，例如：I don't want to take the rap for Mary, who forgot to mail the check in time. 玛丽忘了及时邮寄支票，我可不想替她承担这个责任。
4. At one's wit's end
这个片语也写作at wits' end，意思是“completely puzzled and perplexed, not knowing what to do不知所措”，例如：I've tried every possible source without success, and now I'm at my wit's end. 每个可能的来源我都试了，都失败了，现在我不知道该怎么办了。
