Stifler: Come on, Ozzy. It's show time. Ozzy, before you go to Ann Arbor to pick up Heather, I wanna show you what you're missing.
Oz: See what they are today, dude. See what they are today. Okay, here we go. Moment of truth.
Stifler: Ooh! There's little hearts on her panties!
Stifler: There's little hearts on her panties! Come on, look, you pussy. Look. What the fuck, man? Come on! I'm disappointed in you. Here it is, the end of our freshman year and you screwed one girl. One. You're a disgrace to men everywhere. I mean, look at the Stifmeister. I got laid 23 times this year, and I'm not counting the hummer I got in the library stacks, baby.
Oz: Here's a new idea for you, Stifler, okay? You find a girl. You two become best friends. You don't bother counting how many times you have sex with each other. You just laugh at the people that do count.
Stifler: Here's a new idea for you. I'll get you a spoon so you can eat my ass.
Teacher: Okay, people. Notebooks closed. Let'sget this exam rolling.
Stifler: Holy shit, dude. We got an exam today?
Oz: You kiddin me?
Heather: Yes! I'm never even gonna think about political science again.
Oz: Hey. How'd you do?
Heather: Oh, fine.
Heather: I can't believe I'm doing this summer abroad thing. Last thing I need is more classes.