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汇丰银行商务写作教程(5)
[ 2007-05-17 11:15 ]

对商务写作中的 organising 感到头痛吗?下面就教你organising 的 SOFAR 五步法。

Organising: SOFAR Strategy

So far, so good?

Actually, if you remember that expression - SOFAR -- it'll help you remember how to organise external correspondence.

Salutation

Dear Mr/Mrs/Ms/Miss...

Opening

Background + Purpose

Facts

Reader's Information

Action

Reader's Response

Remarks

Polite Closing

You can also use this outline for memos and internal e-mails. Just leave out the salutation.

SALUTATION

The Salutation begins with 'Dear'.

The Salutation should include the reader's name (eg, Dear Mr Chan, Dear Ms Lewis). You can use the reader's first name (eg, Dear John) if you know them well.

If you do not know the reader's name, use "Dear Sir" or "Dear Madam".

If you do not know if the reader is a man or a woman, use "Dear Sir or Madam".

OPENING (BACKGROUND)

The Opening includes two parts (and usually two paragraphs):
the background (referring to previous contact with the reader or introducing a situation)
the writer's purpose

These provide a logical introduction to your correspondence and help the reader focus on the subject.

The background "sets the scene" by referring to a previous contact (memo, letter, phone call etc). If you've had no previous contact with the reader, you should briefly describe the situation that you are writing about.

EXAMPLES:
Previous contact: Thank you for your call this morning.
A situation: Our annual staff party is coming soon!
An attention-grabbing statement or question: Have you heard
about...? Our Department Open Day is coming soon!

Some opening sentences are better than others.

Read through the sentences in the table below. Decide which sentence of each pair (in Column A and Column B) is better.

Column A

Column B

With reference to your correspondence of 21 August...

Thank you for your letter of 21 August.

Further to our conversation earlier today...

Thank you for your call today about...

Regarding your request for credit approval...

I have just received your request for credit approval.

If you chose the sentences in Column B, you've chosen the better ones.

Why?

Sentences that begin with prepositions (eg, with, in, further, for, following, regarding) are difficult to write correctly. They are also quite long and therefore more difficult for your reader to understand.

So, keep your writing simple by writing shorter, more direct sentences.

OPENING (WRITER'S PURPOSE)

In the second part of the opening you state the writer's purpose.

You've already learned (in Chapter 1) that there can be many purposes for writing.

Two of the most common reasons are:
to inform someone about something
to request someone to do something.

Look at the memo from the General Manager again. Which sentence states the manager's purpose for writing?

The HSBC Group

MEMO

 

To: All Staff

Date: 20 July 200X

From: General Manager

Reference

Subject: Dress Code

 

 

As you know, we have always enforced a strict dress code. We have now revised this code.

I would like to inform you of the changes.

The code for branch staff and office staff is different. As I'm sure you will appreciate, there are no changes for branch staff. All branch staff must wear the correct uniform at all times. On the other hand, if you work in the office, you may wear 'smart-casual' wear. However, on any day that you do meet people from outside the company, please ensure you are dressed in a business-like manner.

Please adopt the new dress code from 1 September. If you have any questions, please call Annie Wong on 2344 7765.

Answer: I would like to inform you of the changes.

To practise writing openings, do the exercise below.

Read the two situations below and write an appropriate opening for each of them.

Situation 1: You are replying to a customer who called this morning asking for details about opening a new account.

Situation 2: You are replying to a customer's letter that you received yesterday. He would like to know why delivery of his order is late.

Suggested answers:

Situation 1:
Thank you for calling this morning asking about how to open a new account.
I am delighted to give you the details about opening a Premier account.

Situation 2:
Thank you for your letter of 28 April about the delivery of your order.
I apologise for the delay and would like to explain what has happened.

FACTS

In the Opening, you provide your reader with background information and state your purpose.

In the next part of the letter - Facts - you provide all the information your reader needs so that they can
understand your purpose completely
respond appropriately.

Remember, though - only one main idea per paragraph! If you have a lot of information for the reader, write several paragraphs in this section.

ACTION

After reading the information you have provided in the Facts section, your reader should be able to respond.

In the next section -- Action -- you should tell your reader
how to respond (what they need to do)
when to respond (by what date/time).

For example, if you are writing to invite someone to lunch, what do you want your reader to do? Come to lunch, right? It may seem obvious to you, but you need to make it obvious to your reader, too. That will get the result you want.

Example:

Writer's Purpose:

I'd like to invite you to lunch next Thursday.

Reader's Response:

Please call by Tuesday and let me know if you can come.

What you want your reader to do often depends on why you are writing.

 

Writer's purpose Reader's response
Invite  Please let me know if you will be able to join us.
Confirm If we need to make any changes to the schedule, please let me know before Friday.
Inform Please adopt the new dress code from 1 September.
Request Please send your bid to us by 15 March.
Complain Please deliver the delayed shipment within three days.
  

REMARKS

When writing to customers, you want to end politely and positively. You often can do this with just one sentence.

But be careful! Try to make your writing sound natural - as if you were speaking to the reader face-to-face.

Have you ever written sentences like these? Would you actually say them to someone in person?

If you have any queries, please do not hesitate to contact me.
Assuring you of our best attention at all times.
Thanking you in anticipation.


Think about a more natural way to close a letter, memo, fax or e-mail.

Examples:

I look forward to hearing from you.
I look forward to receiving your order.
I hope this information is useful.
Please call me if you need any further information.
Please call me if you have any questions.

(来源:中国物流论坛 实习生江巍 英语点津 Annabel 编辑)

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