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How to be more likeable

[ 2010-06-11 16:37]     字号 [] [] []  
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By James Borg

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Your likeability determines your success in both your professional and personal lives. It’s been proved time and time again that it forms the basis of enduring and better-quality relationships in all spheres. That includes a better love life, better friendships, better jobs andpromotions, and better service from people you are forced to deal with, such as doctors, tradespeople and waiters—just about everyone.

When you make other people feel good and they get a positive experience when they’re with you, they tend to like you. To put it plainly—people have a better time when they’re dealing with a pleasant and engaging person! There are a few simple things to make yourself easy to like.

Dress well

First impressions are formed instantly, and physical appearance plays a big part. In the medium to long-term, people base their liking of a person on other traits and will discount their physical “ideal” if the body language appeals. So pay attention to how you look—who can fail to like someone they find very attractive?


When you smile, other people feel good. Just sincere. Even when things are not going too well and you force a smile, the empathetic person picks this up and is able to delve into reasons for your mixed feelings.

Expression in the eyes

Eye contact shows you’re interested in someone, both in general situations and in romantic ones. The expression in your eyes conveys a lot and people can detect levels of warmth, sympathy and concern.

Are you a good listener?

How you respond to other people is sometimes more important than all the traits listed above. When women talk to other women, they tend to be more animated: they nod at appropriate times and may make facial expressions to convey empathy. Men tend to have a problem with focus, so the theme of a conversation gets lost and the responses are off-key. In addition, men don’t tend to give so many visual clues to show that they are listening. If you are a man, try responding with your body to what’s being said—it will help you focus. If you come across as a person who listens, other people want to gravitate towards you.


likeable 可爱的,令人喜爱的,下文的likeability是likeable的名词形式

enduring 持久的

sphere (活动、工作、知识等的)范围,领域

promotion 提升,升迁

tradespeople 商人们

positive 积极的,正面的

engaging 有吸引力的,迷人的

instantly 立刻,马上

physical appearance 外貌

trait 显著的特点,特征

discount 忽视,不重视

appeal 有吸引力

empathetic 有同感的,有共鸣的,下文的empathy是empathetic的名词形式,指“同感,共鸣”

delve into 探究,考察

mixed feelings 互相矛盾的感情,百感交集,心情复杂

convey 表达,传达

detect 发觉,发现

concern 关心,关切

animated 活跃的,欢快的

facial expression 面部表情

off-key 不恰当的,不协调的

visual 视觉的

gravitate (人等)受吸引