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如何判断他就是你的真爱

4 Ways to Tell If He’s the One for You

中国日报网 2014-06-26 15:49

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如何判断他就是你的真爱
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That feeling you have whenever you think about your boyfriend or when he walks in the door? You think it means you have found “The One.” How exactly can you tell if you’re right? More importantly, how can you tell that the two of you really are a good match? Here are four of the signs to tell if the guy you’re with now should be the guy you’re with forever.

Looks – It seems totally superficial, but there is going to be a time when you have to be honest: do you find this guy attractive? Can you see yourself living with him for the rest of your life? If you were just tolerating him while you were dating, you may want to get serious about what you really want before you take the next step. When it comes down to things that he can change—if this guy is not meeting your standards of personal hygiene, healthy weight, decent dress—you may want to have a conversation with him about your concerns before you decide it’s time for a commitment.

Shared Beliefs – It’s more than just your religious backgrounds. Do the two of you have the same ideas about life, how to live, financial goals and philosophies, and feelings about humanity. If your guy has beliefs that you just can’t get behind, there’s a serious problem with your relationship. It may be okay now, but eventually you won’t be able to feel comfortable living with someone who doesn’t share the same basic outlook on life as you. There’s always a chance that you could change, but that’s a big risk to take. If the two of you do share all of the same ideas about the world, go for it!

Emotional Maturity – Not everyone is on the same level of emotional maturity. The interpersonal skills that you have that help you deal with getting hurt or feeling happy are developed from childhood: both you and your boyfriend have emotional intelligences that probably aren’t going to change at this point. If you fight a lot it could mean one or both of you are not very emotionally mature. If it bothers you that he is not empathic, feeling, able to compromise, or control his temper you need to think twice before you decide you want to spend a lifetime with someone who is emotionally stunted.

Intelligence – This is going to be different for everyone, depending on how judgmental you are. Sometimes women date dumb guys and can still be perfectly happy. Sometimes they can’t stand how stupid he is. Let’s even consider that he might be the one with the brains in the relationship. If the difference between your SAT scores is something that makes either of you unhappy, then it’s probably not a good idea to move forward with him. If the two of you are happy with who you are, whether you can go toe-to-toe on Sunday crossword, or if you have to remind him of his family member’s names, you may have found the one.

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每当想起男友或者当他走进房门的时候,你可能会有特别的感觉,不过这意味着你找到了Mr.right?对此你又有多少把握呢?更重要的是,你怎知道你们就是很合适的一对呢?这里有四种标志帮你判断:他是否就是你的真爱?

1.外表

看外表似乎极其肤浅,但也该是诚实面对现实的时候了。你觉得这个男人的外表吸引你吗?你会幻想两个人在一起的未来生活吗?如果和他约会的时候还需要容忍的话,那么在你们进入下一个阶段之前,要认真思考一下究竟什么才是你真正想要的。细数一下他在哪些方面需要改变。如果这个男人在卫生、体重以及着装方面没有符合你的理想标准,那么在你决定两个人厮守一生之前,可能需要就这些问题和他谈一谈了。

2.信仰

这不仅关乎你们的宗教信仰。你们对于生活、生活方式、经济目标以及处事态度和人性的感知方面看法一致吗?如果你男友的思想观念让你无法理解,你们的关系可能会面临比较严峻的问题。目前来说你可能觉得一切还好,但是有朝一日你会无法忍受一个和一个与你没有共同人生观的人生活在一起的。还有改变的机会,但是风险很大。但是如果你们的世界观出奇地一致,那么努力争取一下吧。

3.情商

每个人在情商都是不一样的。目前你在处理挫折和好心情方面的人际交往能力早在童年时期就已经形成了。从这个意义上说,你和你的男友在情商方面可能不会改变什么。如果你们经常吵架,那就说明你们当中的一方甚至双方的情商比较低。

4.智商

智商水平因人而异,取决于你的判断力如何。有时候女人和脑子笨的男友在一起依然可以很快乐,但有时候却无法忍受他的愚蠢。此外,也有可能他是两个人当中头脑聪明的那一位。无论如何,如果SAT分数存在很大的差距会让其中一个人心里感到不舒服的话,那么对你们而言,继续走下去可能不是个好选择。如果你们喜欢对方真实的样子,无论是周末时候两个人在纵横字谜游戏中一争高下,还是记性不好的他连家族成员的名字都得让你提醒,都不会影响相处愉快,那么很有可能他就是你的真爱。

(译者 樱小朵 编辑 齐磊)

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