单身者如何过一个快乐的情人节

查看原文

Despite the fact that we’ve just had Christmas and New Year, the world decided that some of us needed yet another reminder of how sad and alone we are. Enter Valentine’s Day, a faux semi-holiday that was invented to stimulate the sales of the floral, jewelry, chocolate and suicide hotline industries. In case you find yourself partner-free this February 14th, here is some proof that you can totally rock the day, singles style.

1. Party

Why sit around wallowing in self pity when you can be out having a good time. If you’re invited to a V-Day party, go. Who cares if it’s going to mostly be couples. You get the chance to drink and eat on somebody else’s dime while observing things going on around you. Perhaps there’ll be some hotties there, or maybe just couples pretending not to be in a fight over inadequate Valentines gifts. Either way, there will be good times! Alternatively, you can throw your own party with an appropriate theme such as “historical couples” or “horror movie characters.”

2. Treat Yourself

The upside to not having a valentine is not being obliged to spend of your pay check on a gift for someone. Instead, I recommend that you:

We can sometimes put so much time and energy into other people that we forget about ourselves. So why not make this Valentine’s Day all about you? Whether your idea of indulgence is a massage, a new game or an entire pot pie to yourself, do it. Frankly, I’d go for all three.

3. Have an Awesome Night Out

Just because it’s Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean you’re forbidden to go out on the town. I say take it back. Grab some friends and tear it up over some drinks and great food. I’m not even going to advocate the idea that you might meet somebody while out, because that shouldn’t be your focus. If it happens, great, but don’t go into the night with that expectation. Just have fun.

4. Have an Awesome Night In

Why does everyone seem to think that staying in is so lame? I honestly think that rocking V-Day from he lounge room could be amazing. Order in from your favorite takeout, get a bottle of something delicious and fire up the old blu-ray player.

5. Spread the Non-Romantic Love

Not in a venereal disease type of way.

Just because you don’t have a romantic partner this Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean there isn’t at least one “special someone” in your life. I’m talking about friends and family, and they deserve love too. Send some flowers to your mum, treat your dad to a nice bottle of scotch, or send some nice and/or purposely terrible cards to your friends.

6. GTFO

Why not take the opportunity to get out and do something you wouldn’t usually do. Whether it be a local game or exhibit, or even an overnight stay somewhere, take the opportunity to break your normal routine and GTFO.

7. Secret Santa—Valentines Style

Yeah, I’m making it a thing. Let’s call it Secret Casanova, because why not? Gather a group of friends together, draw names and then buy a nice gift for your chosen person. Alternatively, you can purposely buy crappy or funny gifts just for the fun of it. In that case, I recommend naming the game Sloppy Casanova.

8. Volunteer

Nothing will make you forget the heinous commercialism of Valentine’s Day more than doing volunteer work. You’ll quickly realize that while the rest of the Western world is wondering how big a bouquet should be, some people have bigger things to worry about, like food and shelter. Get some perspective.

9. Watch Valentine’s Day

This movie is so bad that watching it will make you glad you’re not getting involved in this pre-determined day of love. It may also make you vomit it a bit.

10. Business as Usual

If nothing else on this list inspires you, I recommend simply doing nothing. Stop the day from having any power over you by treating it like any other. It may be slightly difficult to ignore the red and pink floral explosions throughout the office, but you don’t have to let that make you act any differently. Flip Valentine’s Day the bird and move on. If it makes you feel any better, you’re probably happier than the woman in the next cubicle over whose boyfriend didn’t get her anything because he forgot/”doesn’t believe in it”/is too busy with his mistress.