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中国日报网英语点津为您精选语言地道的英语笑话，开心学英语。

为什么总喝水

2012-02-09 09:58
Father: Jack, why do you drink so much water? Jack: I have just had an apple, Dad. Father: What's that got to do with it?

好消息和坏消息（婚姻版）

2012-01-18 10:02
"There's good news and bad news," the divorce lawyer told his client. "I could sure use some good news," sighed the client. "What's it?"

2012-01-13 09:22
The soldiers had been marching and fighting, they were dirty, hot and tired. One day, the general announced: “My men, I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which one would you like first?”

急诊

2012-01-10 09:26
"Help! Doctor! Please come quickly! My ten-year-old son has just swallowed a pen!" "Ok, I'll be right there. I'll be there in 10 to 20 minutes." "Good, but...what am I supposed to do in the meantime?"

尽力而为就好

2011-12-29 10:46
In a courtroom, the judge sentenced a criminal to thirty years in prison and the prisoner said, “But Sir, I won’t live that long!”

三个牧师

2011-12-19 10:18
The third said, "I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church... haven't seen one back since!"

留下了什么

2011-12-08 11:02
The young man turned around and hurried back with his two bags. He was very tired when he arrived, but he shouted through the window, "What did I leave behind?"

坐飞机有美女陪伴的高招

2011-12-02 09:33
When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it. It was written in ink and said, "This seat is preserved for proper load balance, thank you."

袋鼠与笼子

2011-11-29 09:52
One day the staff members of a zoo called a meeting to discuss the problem -- how to deal with the kangaroos that were found out of the cage.

他的足球可以出来玩吗

2011-11-28 14:02
George knocked on the door of his friend's house. When his friend's mother answered he asked, "Can Albert come out to play?"

救人

2011-11-16 10:46
One day the professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do we have to learn this stuff?"

奶奶很高兴

2011-11-04 10:24
"Please, teacher," said a small boy, "I've made someone glad yesterday." "Well done. Who was that?" "My granny." "Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grandmother glad."

她要买什么

2011-11-03 15:11
Then the manager drew the clerk aside: "Never, never, never say we are out of anything, say we've got it on order and it's coming."

惭愧的士兵

2011-11-02 10:55
Peter joined the army when he was eighteen, and for several months he was taught how to be a good soldier. He did quite well in everything except shooting.

谁在打架

2011-10-28 11:19
Mother: Freddie, why is your face so red? Freddie: I was running up the street to stop a fight. Mother: That's a very nice thing to do. Who was fighting?

驱蝇妙招

2011-10-21 09:02
There was a customer who came and asked a waiter in a cafeteria: "Oh, tell me, Susan, how do you keep all the flies out of your coffee shop?"

如何致富

2011-10-19 13:31
Little brother: I saw you kiss my sister, and if you don't give me a nickel I'll tell my father.

他们全都淹死了

2011-10-10 10:44
When the work was completed, the patron was asked to come and inspect it. As a matter of fact, the picture was just one daub of brilliant red.

通音律的狗

2011-10-09 11:00
A little boy was practicing his violin, while his father sat reading the newspaper. The family dog began to howl along dismally.

她宁愿买一件礼物

2011-09-30 08:56
While on a trip, Mom realized that she had forgotten a present for Dad's birthday. "That's okay," he said, "The only thing I want is for you to love, honor and obey."

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