My comments:
You write very well, CL.
And you write long.
You write well, that is, for a 25-year-old who doesn’t think very highly of himself. And the length of your article reveals that you are not clear about what you most want to say. It’s ok. It will come for you, in due course.
In order not to bore other readers, I’ll answer the three of your questions – how to be an alpha guy, how to write naturally and how to deal with life’s challenges in general – at once and in brief.
I’ll answer your questions by the bundle because, one, they’re related and, two, the first question is too precious a topic to broach on this podium. Some day, I’ll perhaps write an advice column on how to make one an alpha man and you can write me then. And it’ll cost you.
Kidding aside, let’s get to your second question – how to write naturally.
And what kind of question is that?
I mean, can you write UNNATURALLY? Words on paper reveal the writer as he is. There’s no getting around it – try as you may you can’t hide your true self from your writing. You, CL, are just not clear about what you most want to say. That’s why you zigzag, going all the way to Bertrand Russell (I think you were referring to that man) for assistance, fearing you might miss something and not make yourself absolutely clear. It’s all unnecessary, but like I said, it’s ok. This is the natural you at the moment. Don’t be ashamed. Keep working at it. Some day, you’ll be very clear what you most want to say and you’ll be concise.
Right now, you’re like a run-on sentence that’s convoluted and unclear and you’re miserable. Russell felt the same, I assure you, somewhere in his great life. But what I’m asking you to do, though, is to stop quoting the British philosopher about love and relationship.
You see, Russell knew what he was talking about. You don’t. Life is something to be lived, not to be talked about. And quit talking about man and woman in the “narrow sense”, ok? Or you will risk getting exactly that. The physical and metaphysical are two sides of the same coin – and yet only those who are able to turn the corner of the physical have a chance of experiencing the spiritual. That’s what Russell means when he talked about eternity. In short, there are depths and depths for you to plunge in - but it’s no use talking.
And so you’d better start experiencing it – bit by bit, degree by degree. At 25, it’s about time you started anyway. And how do you do that?
You seem to have a pretty good idea about what attracts YOU. You seem to be chasing (at least secretly in the mind) girls who are “nice, angel-like, clean, pure, tender, lively, full of a passion characteristic to their age” and women “who are charming, mature, womanly, motherly, of a passion of a different nature from that of young girls but of larger degrees of depth”.
Those are all good qualities that make girls and women attractive. I agree. But my question is do you deserve any of THEM?
Think about it.
From now on, try to approach the matter from the reverse direction. Stop looking for attractive women. Instead, focus on making yourself attractive to them. Find out attributes that make men attractive to girls and women and start acquiring them. Search out the movies I mentioned in that last column may be a good start. After all, it begins with doing something. That you don’t watch movies is no excuse – alpha guys do whatever it takes.
And that’s how you meet life’s challenges in general – doing what it takes, whatever it takes. Never mind the circumstances. Do what you can. You may fail but have no fear (losing is just part of the winning process). Learn from your mistakes and get better at it next time. Just don’t stop doing it – babies, you see, all learn to walk. But they would not be able to if they were all stopped from practicing after they tumbled the first few times.
Live some, learn some, and you’ll never have to worry that your better days are behind you.
Wonderful arrangement, isn’t it?
Sorry for not answering in greater length to your most important question concerning the alpha male and not even mentioning whether I am one such fellow.
Part of the reason is, you see, alpha fellows don’t like to talk much on the subject (^-^).
Some day, though, I trust you to become an alpha guy.
And to stop writing long letters at the very least.
Have yourself a nice day in the field.
本文仅代表作者本人观点,与本网立场无关。欢迎大家讨论学术问题,尊重他人,禁止人身攻击和发布一切违反国家现行法律法规的内容。
About the author:
Zhang Xin is Trainer at chinadaily.com.cn. He has been with China Daily since 1988, when he graduated from Beijing Foreign Studies University. Write him at: zhangxin@chinadaily.com.cn, or raise a question for potential use in a future column.
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