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今天是4月1日愚人节，英国几家颇具“愚”乐精神的报纸纷纷炮制猛料，让不少读者大跌眼镜。《独立报》称皇马球星C罗已与葡萄牙财政部达成协议，愿意加入西班牙队以抵偿葡国1.6亿欧元的债务。《镜报》则称英国政府将对空气征税，凡是空气新鲜的城市均需缴税，而伦敦、曼彻斯特等污染严重的城市将获得减免。该报还煞有介事地“引用”一位环保技术人员的话说：“空气和水一样是有限的资源，我们需要合理利用。”
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According to the Independent broadsheet, Real Madrid winger Ronaldo has agreed to "act like a patriot" and defect to the Spanish national team, netting his debt-ravaged country 160 million euros (227 million dollars). |
Portugal football star Cristiano Ronaldo is to join Spain to help ease his nation's debt crisis and Britain is to begin taxing fresh air, British newspapers reported in their April Fools' Day editions.
According to the Independent broadsheet, Real Madrid winger Ronaldo has agreed to "act like a patriot" and defect to the Spanish national team, netting his debt-ravaged country 160 million euros (227 million dollars).
"Weighed down by debt...Portugal's finance ministry has secured the co-operation of football's highest-paid player in an audacious bid to draw the nation back from the brink of economic collapse," claimed the paper's lead.
Mirror reporter Flora Olip, coincidentally an anagram of April fool, revealed that the British government was to introduce a "gasp" bill to raise taxes from fresh air.
"Olip" reported that the "Air Tariff Control" system would tax areas with fresher air while more polluted cities such as London and Manchester would be due for a rebate.
The paper "cited" a senior Environment Agency technician as saying: "Air is natural but, just like water, it is a finite resource that we have to manage sensibly".
A Labour lawmaker was apparently shocked, admitting it had "literally taken his breath away".
The Daily Express joined in the fun, reporting that a British company had developed a modified Zimmer walking frame which incorporated a skateboard for pensioners who wanted something "a little more speedy".
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(Agencies)
（中国日报网英语点津 Helen 编辑）
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