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英国母亲比拼育儿经验压力大
How 90 percent of mothers judge other parents on how they raise their children

[ 2011-08-15 08:47]     字号 [] [] []  
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英国母亲比拼育儿经验压力大

Judgement day: A poll of 26,000 US mothers found that parents will compete on everything from breastfeeding to child discipline.

Every mother has her own opinion on how to best raise a child. But according to a new survey, 90 percent of women with children admit to casting judgment if they don't agree with a fellow parent's methods.

The poll of 26,000 mothers by TODAY Moms/Parenting.com found that they will compete on everything from breastfeeding to discipline.

Mothers who didn't try to breastfeed their babies, for example, will be considered badly by one in five other parents, while those who nurse a child for 'too long', will be judged badly by 43 percent of their peers.

Sixty-six percent of respondents said they would judge another parent harshly if their child was badly behaved, and 32 percent if a mother let her kids watch too much television.

Diet was another key issue for parents - 37 percent said they would judge mothers of an overweight child or those who allowed their children to eat junk food.

Many women who participated in the survey admitted suffering from an inferiority complex when surrounded by other mothers - and guilty for judging fellow parents themselves.

Lacey Davis, a mother in West Virginia, admitted on the Today.com website: 'When I go to other moms' homes I do the quick once-over and pick apart things... Dishes in sink, floors not swept, no sweeper lines in carpet.

'I HATE this about myself because I know if I am doing it, then so is everyone else that comes to MY house!'

And Lawna Hurl, a mother-of-two from Alberta, Canada, says the reason she returned to work was because the pressure of competition among fellow parents was too intense.

She admitted: 'I didn’t like being around other moms because I often felt inferior. It saddens me that among moms there is so much judgment – no matter what you do it seems someone is judging.'

Author and parenting expert Wendy Mogel explained that the judgemental habit is a means mothers use to feel better about themselves.

She told the site: 'Mothers are judging themselves and judging others to make themselves feel a little better. We’re all trying to look good, and we want our kids to look good and impress others.'

(Read by Renee Haines. Renee Haines is a journalist at the China Daily Website.)

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(Agencies)

每个妈妈都有一本她自己的育儿经。但一项新研究发现,90%的妈妈承认,如果不同意其他孩子父母的育儿方式,她们会提出批评。

由今日妈妈育儿网发起的这一调查发现,妈妈们会从母乳喂养到管教子女各个方面进行较量。该调查涵盖了2.6万位母亲。

在五分之一的妈妈们眼中,不愿用母乳喂养宝宝的妈妈不是好妈妈,而那些母乳喂养期太长的妈妈也会被43%的妈妈认为不称职。

66%的被调查者说,如果孩子不乖,她们会严厉批评那个孩子的母亲。32%的人说如果妈妈让她的孩子看太多电视,她们也会指责那个妈妈。

对妈妈们来说,孩子的饮食也是一个关键问题。37%的妈妈说,如果一个孩子太胖,或是一个妈妈允许孩子吃垃圾食品,她们会指责那个妈妈。

很多参加这次调查的女性都承认当被其他妈妈围绕的时候,都有自卑心理,而她们自己也喜欢批评其他妈妈,并为此感到内疚。

莱西•戴维斯是来自西弗吉尼亚州的一位母亲,她在“今日”网站上坦言说:“我一进到别的妈妈的家里,我就迅速扫视一圈,然后就开始指摘起来……水槽里的碟子没洗,地板没扫,地毯没用清扫器清洁过。”

“我讨厌自己这么做,因为我知道,如果我这么做,别人到我家的时候也会对我说三道四!”

来自加拿大阿尔伯塔省的劳娜•赫尔是两个孩子的母亲。她说她重返职场的原因是同辈母亲间的竞争压力太大了。

她承认说:“我不喜欢和别的妈妈们待在一起,因为我经常觉得自卑。当妈的凑到一块儿就老爱评判来评判去,真让我伤心。不管你做什么,好像总有人品头论足。”

作家兼育儿专家温迪•孟格尔解释说,这种爱评判的习惯是妈妈们保持良好自我感觉的手段。

她告诉网站说:“妈妈们通过自我评判和评判她人来让自己感觉好些。我们都想让自己看上去很好,我们也想让我们的孩子看上去很好,给他人留下好印象。”

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(中国日报网英语点津 实习生沈清 编辑:陈丹妮)

Vocabulary:

inferiority complex: 自卑感

once-over: 粗略的查看

 
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