最怪诞的10本指南书籍

众所周知有关指南、DIY、傻瓜教程还有文学作品等书籍，其中很多还是很有用的。随着审查制度不再那么严格以及言论自由之风的吹起，人人都可以出版任何他们想出版的书籍。不管您将此事看作是好是坏，人们确实可以接触到很多奇奇怪怪的书。

本期就让我们为您盘点史上最怪诞的10本指南，虽然您或许会觉得它们匪夷所思、、令人忍俊不禁，或哗众取宠令人难以接受，但这些书都是真实存在，且能在市面上买到的。

10. How to Steal a Dog
《怎样偷狗》

Stealing dogs has never been so good! If you're a cheapo who is looking to steal away man's best friend, choose this how-to. Maybe you want a free dog, steal one! Though stealing a dog will probably get you put into prison. If you're that lonely and that in need of someone, or something to talk to, just take a dog, the original owner will understand!
偷狗可不是好事！如果你是个吝啬鬼，打算偷走人类最好的朋友，请选择这本指南。也许你想要一只免费的狗狗，那就偷一只去吧！虽然偷狗很可能让你遭受牢狱之灾。如果你孤独地要死，极度需要某人或某物来谈谈心，那就偷条狗吧亲！前主人会理解的！

9. How to Make a Dirty Movie
《怎样拍黄片》

Oh honey don't worry, I'm just reading about how to make a dirty movie...What?! Wouldn't it be more precise to watch how to make a dirty movie? If you don't know how to make a dirty movie, that might tell you something, or a few things. But let's not go there. I guess some people just aren't romantic or errr...that perverted? Whichever you think fits best.
哦亲爱的别担心，我只不过是在读拍黄片指南……啥？！它会不会精确到要你观看怎样拍黄片？如果你不晓得怎样拍黄片，这本书会教你一点儿的，或者不少……不过我们还是别谈得太深入了吧，我想有些人应该没这么浪漫或者……呃……这么变态？你怎么想都行。

8. How to be a Pope
《如何当好教皇》

I hope that this book was written by an ex-Pope, but it probably wasn't, seeing as how writing about how to be a pope is probably a sin in one way or another. Anyone who is reading about how to be a pope, shouldn't be a pope in the first place. Those who are destined to live in the Vatican generally know what their duties will be as a pope while they are archbishop or something.
我希望这本书是前教皇写的，不过极可能不是。怎样写如何当好一个教皇某种程度很可能视为是一种罪行。读这本书的人肯定压根不会是教皇。而这些注定生活在梵蒂冈的人早在他是主教或其他啥职位的时候一般就都知道作为教皇的职责是什么了。

7. How to Break the Cycle of Life and Death
《怎样打破生死循环》

Now...maybe I'm not religious enough, or maybe I think too much, something, but who in their right mind believes that they can actually live forever? There isn't a cycle to break. Life has a beginning, and an end. Maybe an afterlife, no one is too sure, but a book about how to be immortal? Interesting, to say the least.
现在……我大概没那么虔诚，要么我有点想多了。但是一个头壳没坏掉的人谁会相信自己能永生啊？根本就不存在什么循环去打破。生命有始，亦有终。也许有来世，但没人能确定。可是一本关于如何永生不死的书？至多只能说它有趣。

6. How to Raise and Keep a Dragon
《怎样饲养龙》

I'm sure this would be a great book, if dragons really existed. Maybe they live and exist inside of your imagination, but not in mine. Besides, who'd want to keep an animal that can literally open its mouth and blowtorch you to death? I'd gladly pass on that option. If you ever cross paths with a dragon, find this book.
我很确定这会成为一本伟大的书的，如果真的有龙存在的话。它们也许生活在你的想象中，不过不在我的想象中。再说了，谁会想要养一头一张嘴就能一口火喷死你的动物？我反正pass。如果你曾遇见过龙，去找这本书吧。