37年前，我满怀惆怅挥别家人，开始大学生活；今天，我的小儿子上大学，与他告别，同样让我无比伤感和不舍，因为我知道家不会再像从前那样……

By Debbie Galant

任小洁 选注

When it comes to the nuclear family, I’m hopelessly sentimental.[1] I spent the whole summer before I went off to college mourning[2] the fact that our family would never be the same. If my parents were feeling the same way, they hid it well, or at least I didn’t notice, and my younger brother was downright hostile to my proactive nostalgia.[3] “Get over it,” he said simply.

Then, about two hours after they had unpacked the car and trudged upstairs with my boxes of possessions, I dismissed my family with a single wave.[4] My mourning more than accomplished, I was ready to launch into[5] my new life.

Thirty-seven years later, I did exactly the same thing. I spent months stewing[6] in the sadness I would feel when I dropped my youngest child off at college. Then, when we rolled onto campus, and were welcomed by a crowd of vuvuzela-tooting kids in crazy costumes, I felt my mouth involuntarily assume the shape of a smile.[7] After all, we were dropping our son off at a nice Northeastern liberal arts college—not Afghanistan.[8]

Colleges these days coddle boomer parents in a way that was unthinkable in the '70s when I went off to college.[9] My husband and I received parent orientation schedules and maps at check-in, and were invited to a day’s worth of events, including a barbecue and a big tent reception,[10] before we were expected to say our goodbyes. There was even a post-goodbye session with members of the college counseling staff on “navigating the road ahead.”[11] At my college drop-off, my parents weren’t offered so much as a cup of coffee.

The parents dropping off their freshmen last weekend also coddled one another. I think I heard the word “bittersweet”[12] more than the word “dorm.” There was a hierarchy of loss, with parents dropping off oldest children getting a certain amount of deference and parents dropping off their youngest getting even more.[13]

Yet somehow, even before the tent party was officially over, I was ready to leave. We posed for one last picture with our college boy, allowed him to walk us to the car and decided to skip the “navigating the road ahead” workshop in favor of getting on the actual road.[14] It was, after all, a four-hour drive.

Although we took the express route[15] up, we took the slow road home. On the way out of town, we looked in some little shops. About an hour later, we stopped at a farm stand[16] for fresh corn. Three hours out, we pulled over[17] to a local restaurant and had a leisurely dinner. And right before getting home, I asked if we could stop at the grocery store for my favorite specialty soda drink, and my husband indulged me.[18] Was this a sign of aging, this leisurely pace, or was it simply the luxury of only having to negotiate with one other person?

The whole evening we eyed each other, my husband and I, for signs of imminent breakdown.[19] I expected it more from him than from myself. After all, he was the one who had that whole Y-chromosome[20] thing in common with our son. He was going to be the one to miss the baseball chatter[21]. Besides, despite my proclivity[22] for advance sadness, I’m not much of a crier.

In bed, later that first night, the tears suddenly poured out—of me. He’s such good company, our son. Smart, funny, extraordinarily well-mannered. It wasn’t, in the end, about the splitting of the nuclear family or the fact that this milestone advanced us inexorably toward the end.[23] It was about missing a good pal[24].

Vocabulary

1. nuclear family:（包括父母和子女的）核心家庭，小家庭；sentimental: 伤感的，多愁善感的。

2. mourn: 感到悲伤（或遗憾）。

3. downright: 十分，完全；be hostile to: 对……有敌意；proactive: [心理]前摄的，提前发生的；nostalgia: 怀旧，对往事的怀恋。

4. unpack: 从（车上）拿下行李；trudge: 费力地走；possessions: 财物；dismiss: 打发走，让离开。

5. launch into: 开始投入。

6. stew: 担心，不安。

7. 后来，当我们驶入校园，受到一群身着奇装异服、吹着呜呜祖拉的孩子们的热烈欢迎时，我发觉我的嘴角情不自禁地露出一丝微笑。vuvuzela: 呜呜祖拉，一种塑料喇叭，南非人在各种体育比赛中特有的加油工具，如2010年南非足球世界杯上这种喇叭就风靡一时，当然制造出的噪音也非同一般。

8. liberal arts: 文科；Afghanistan: 阿富汗，西南亚国家，战乱频仍。

9. coddle: 悉心照料；boomer parent: 指在婴儿潮时期出生、现已为人父母的人。

10. parent orientation: 新生家长说明会，帮助家长更好地了解学校环境等；check-in: 登记签到处；barbecue: 户外烧烤。tent reception：设在帐篷内的招待会。

11. counseling staff: 辅导员；navigate: 确定方向。

12. bittersweet: 苦乐参半的，又苦又甜的。

13. hierarchy: 分级，分类；deference: 尊重，尊敬。

14. pose: 摆姿势；skip: 略过；workshop: 说明会。

15. express route: 快道，高速。

16. stand: 摊子。

17. pull over: 开到路边。

18. grocery store: 杂货店，食品店；specialty: 特制的；indulge: 容许，放纵。

19. imminent: 即将发生的；breakdown:（精神）崩溃，衰竭。

20. Y-chromosome: Y染色体，性染色体的一种。

21. chatter: 喋喋不休的闲聊。

22. proclivity: 倾向。

23. milestone: 里程碑；inexorably: 无情地，冷酷地。

24. pal: 朋友，伙伴。

（来源：英语学习杂志）