新书称“奶嘴男”感情关系更健康

2012-03-23 09:57

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Screen myth: Anthony Perkins as deranged mummy's boy Norman Bates in Alfred Hitchcock's 1960 classic Psycho

They have long been ridiculed for being sissies or too feminine. But now it seems that being a mummy’s boy might actually be a good thing for a man.

A new book claims that having a close mother-son relationship actually helps boys to have a better relationships with others.

Author Kate Stone Lombardi says the old stereotype that these men are weak and more likely to be gay is not true.

In fact, mummy’s boys have a ‘broader definition of masculinity’ that is of significant benefit to their mental health.

Mothers with close relationships to their sons have featured in countless films including the 1960 Alfred Hitchcock classic ‘Psycho’, in which Norman Bates becomes a neurotic killer.

They have helped cement the idea that bringing up a child like that was damaging and unhealthy for both parties.

Miss Lombardi, however, disagreed and made contact with more than 1,100 mothers over the internet to explore their experiences.

The 55-year-old, who has a 23-year-old son and 26-year-old daughter, found that society fears a ‘blindly adoring mother’ putting endless praise on her son.

She said that the widely accepted stereotype is that ‘any boy close to his mom will be a sissy, a wimp, forever dependent and never a man who can have a healthy relationship’.

Miss Lombardi, who lives in Chappaqua, New York, added there was also an ‘unspoken fear’ that if a mother was too great an influence her son would turn out gay.

Her book, called The Mama’s Boy Myth, argues that the reality is the opposite and that a close mother-son relationship is ‘good for their mental health'.

These sons are also less likely to become repressed men who cannot talk about their feelings, less susceptible to peer pressure and more likely to delay their first sexual experience.

Another benefit is that mothers are better communicators, Miss Lombardi said: ‘We don’t know why - if it’s specifically because of the nature of the mother-son communication.’

(Read by Nelly Min. Nelly Min is a journalist at the China Daily Website.)

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(Agencies)

一直以来，他们因为娘娘腔或阴柔气太重总是受人嘲讽。但现在看来，这些“奶嘴男”对妈妈的依赖也许是件好事。

一本新书称，母子关系亲密确实能帮助男性和他人相处得更好。

该书作者凯特•斯通•伦巴蒂说，认为“奶嘴男”软弱而且更容易变成同性恋的固有成见是不对的。

事实上，“奶嘴男”对男子气概的定义更宽泛，这对于他们的心理健康有很大的益处。

母子之间的亲密关系曾在无数电影中表现过，包括1960年阿尔弗雷德•希区柯克的经典电影《惊魂记》，在这部影片中，诺曼•贝茨成了一个精神病杀手。

这些电影帮助强化了一个观念，就是用这种方式培养小孩对母子双方都是有害、不健康的。

然而，伦巴蒂不认同这一观念，并和1100多名母亲在网上进行交流，探讨她们的经历。

伦巴蒂是一位55岁的母亲，她有一个23岁的儿子和一个26岁的女儿。她发现社会担心“盲目宠爱孩子的母亲”会无休止地赞美自己的儿子。

她说，人们广泛地持有某种成见，就是“任何与母亲太亲密的男孩都是娘娘腔和软骨头，永远都会依赖他人，也永远不会拥有健康的感情关系”。

住在纽约查帕瓜的伦巴蒂补充说，还有一种“无言的恐惧”，就是如果母亲的影响力太大，儿子可能会变成同性恋。

她这本题为《奶嘴男神话》的书指出，真实情况正好相反，母子关系亲密“对他们的心理健康有益”。

此外，这些男孩不大可能长成性格压抑、无法交流情绪的男人，他们比较不会受同辈压力的困扰，也更可能推迟初次性体验。

另一个好处是母亲们更善于交流。伦巴蒂说：“我们不知道这是为什么——是不是由母子交流的本质决定的。”

相关阅读

（中国日报网英语点津陈丹妮编辑：Julie）

Vocabulary:

sissy: 女人般的男人，娘娘腔，胆小无用的男子

cement: 巩固，加强

wimp: 软弱（或无能）者

peer pressure: （同辈人之间的）趋同心理压力，攀比心理压力

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