胆小鬼的万圣节前夜

Growing up, I always felt a great animosity[2] towards the holiday Halloween. Why you ask? Long story short, I was so easily scared, that it wasn’t even funny (okay, looking back on it, maybe it was a little funny). However, even though I was scared, I still had to try and hide it and pretend that I wasn’t scared so that I wouldn’t become a target of Halloween pranks[3]. Yep, that was the complicated life of a pre-adolescent scaredy cat.[4] Out of all the years of this, probably the most memorable was the Halloween of 2006. Here’s the story.

My day started out normal, or at least as normal as it can get on Halloween morning. I was in 3rd grade, and I was walking towards my classroom. Since it was Halloween, we were all dressed up in costumes and I was a fairy princess (don’t judge me, I was a girly[5] girl back then).

As I walked in to my classroom, all the lights were off and the teacher was nowhere to be seen. As soon as the clock struck 8, the door slammed shut and we heard a horrible cackling[6] voice. “Hello my children!” said the voice. It came from a woman in a black robes and a pointy hat. Her skin was green and she had warts all over her face. It took me a few minutes to realize that this was actually my teacher, Mrs. Roberson. Thankfully, after the long speech of how she was not Mrs. Roberson, she turned the lights back on and let us work on crossword puzzles.

Sadly, this didn’t last very long. After about an hour, Mrs. Roberson (or Mrs. Hagatha, as she told us she was) led us through a dark hallway formerly known as the 5th grade wing[7]. The hall looked nothing like the hall I walked past every day! Cobwebs were everywhere, glowing eyes stared at me from behind doors, and I could have sworn that I heard the howling of a werewolf[8].

I shuddered. Don’t worry, I told myself. You’ll be okay.¬ After all, what’s the worse that could happen during school? She took us to an empty classroom where the other 3rd grade teachers were (also dressed as witches) and then blindfolded all of us after we sat down on the ground. “Now, I will be passing around various body parts.” she said, “Do not attempt to peek at the organs, or we will eat you. First is the heart...”

I held my breath. Of course they weren’t really body parts, but what was it? The “heart” was slimy, cold, and it smelled really weird! And... it was moving! I was terrified. Then came the eyeballs, the stomach, and the disembodied hand. What could this be? I wondered. Finally, as the “intestines” came around, I snuck a peak.[9] It was only cold spaghetti[10] noodles! I breathed a sigh of relief. It wasn’t something horrid like pickled pig’s feet of cow eyeballs, just noodles.[11] The spleen[12] and the brain didn’t seem so bad after that.

After that ordeal[13], we went back to our own classrooms. “Betty,” I heard a voice cackle[14], “May I have a word[15]?” Frozen in fear, I walked towards my teacher. She must have seen me peek! The other students were at recess[16], what would she do? “I just wanted to congratulate you on your perfect test score. Now begone[17]!” she said pointing towards the playground. I sighed in relief for maybe the umpteenth[18] time that day. I was safe, at least for today. (Of course, I knew she wouldn’t eat me, but still.)

Now do you see why I hate Halloween? Even though my logic told me I was perfectly safe, I would still jump at the slightest thing! Maybe visit me at my blog, and I’ll tell you the (even funnier) story of my horrid trip to a haunted[19] house.