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How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days《十日拍拖手册》精讲之六
[ 2009-10-16 10:21 ]

精彩对白:If I had a nickel for every time I got in a fist fight during a chick flick, whoo!


How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days《十日拍拖手册》精讲之六

Courtship is the traditional dating period before engagement and marriage. During a courtship, a couple dates to get to know each other and decide if there will be an engagement. Usually courtship is a public affair, done in public and with family approval.

It includes activities such as dating where couple go together for a meal, a movie, dance parties, a picnic, shopping or general "hanging out", along with other forms of activity. Acts such as meeting on the Internet or virtual dating, chatting on-line, sending text messages or picture messages, conversing over the telephone, VoIP, instant messaging and the like, writing each other letters or e-mails, and sending each other flowers, songs, and gifts constitute wooing.


The average duration of courtship varies considerably throughout the world. Furthermore, there is vast individual variation between couples. Courtship may be completely left out in case of arranged marriages where the couple doesn't meet before the wedding.

Reasons to wait a long time include getting to know each other, elucidate potential relationship issues and problems and/or making sure there is enough social and economical stability to raise a family.

The general attitude is not having strict time limits to the duration, but rather proceed as circumstances seem favorable.

In the United Kingdom, a poll of 3,000 engaged or married couples resulted in an average duration between first meeting and accepted proposal of marriage of 2 years and 11 months, but yet with the women feeling ready to accept at an average of 2 years and 7 months. Regarding duration between proposal and wedding, the UK poll above gave an average of 2 years and 3 months.

Courtship traditions

While the date is fairly casual in most European-influenced cultures, in some traditional societies, courtship is a highly structured activity, with very specific formal rules.

In some societies, the parents or community propose potential partners, and then allow limited dating to determine whether the parties are suited. In Japan, there is a such type of courtship called Omiai, with similar practices called "Xiangqin"(相亲) in the Greater China Area.

Parents will hire a matchmaker to provide pictures and résumés of potential mates, and if the couple agrees, there will be a formal meeting with the matchmaker and often parents in attendance. The matchmaker and parents will often exert pressure on the couple to decide whether they want to marry or not after a few dates.

In more closed societies, courtship is virtually eliminated altogether by the practice of arranged marriages, where partners are chosen for young people, typically by their parents. Forbidding experimental and serial courtship and sanctioning only arranged matches is partly a means of guarding the chastity of young people and partly a matter of furthering family interests, which in such cultures may be considered more important than individual romantic preferences.

Over recent decades though, the concept of arranged marriage has changed or simply been mixed with other forms of dating, including Eastern and Indian ones; potential couples have the opportunity to meet and date each other before one decides on whether to continue the relationship or not.

Modern dating

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days《十日拍拖手册》精讲之六

In earlier centuries, young adults were expected to court with the intention of finding a marriage partner, rather than for social reasons. However, by the Jazz Age of the 1920s, dating for fun was becoming an expectation, and by the 1930s, it was assumed that any popular young person would have lots of dates. This form of dating, though, was usually more chaste than is seen today, since pre-marital sex was not considered the norm.

After the sexual revolution of the 1960s and 1970s, this "old-fashioned" form of dating waned in popularity. Couples became more likely to "hook up" or "hang out" with large groups than to go on an old-fashioned date, and frequently went from "hanging out" to an exclusive relationship without engaging in what their parents or grandparents might have called dating.

In recent years, a number of college newspapers have featured editorials where students decry the lack of "dating" on their campuses. This may be a result of a highly-publicized 2001 study and campaign sponsored by the conservative American women's group Independent Women's Forum, which promotes "traditional" dating.

Also, in recent years traditional dating has evolved and taken on the metamorphic properties necessary to sustain itself in today's world. This can be seen in the rise in internet dating, speed dating or gradual exclusivity dating (a.k.a. slow dating). Some theorize that courtship as it was known to prior generations has seen its last days and the next closest thing is gradual exclusivity, where the partners respect and value each others' individual lives but still maintain the ultimate goal of being together even if time or space does not permit it now.

Those who find their dating skills lacking may hire dating coaches. While traditional dating advice was given from ancient times on, the Internet made it possible for individuals (mostly men, as their social role in Western cultures requires more proactivity) to share their experience worldwide and form the seduction community.


1. 晚上想去看电影吗?

2. 我们用录像带录下了那场演出。

3. 我希望他能做成这笔交易。

4. 那个令人悲痛的消息使她目瞪口呆。

《十日拍拖手册》精讲之五 参考答案

1. She started to rifle through the contents of her bag.

2. He’s lucky to have secured himself such a good job.

3. He opened the door slightly and peeked out.

4. That movie has a catchy title.

精彩对白:If I had a nickel for every time I got in a fist fight during a chick flick, whoo!

(英语点津 Danny编辑)



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