Imperial bodyguard: Stay where you are! This is the queen's wing. You can't be up here.

Milady: Oh, thank goodness. I got so lost. I took a wrong turn and then a door slammed behind me. I've been trapped up here, in the sun, and this heat.

Imperial bodyguard: It's going to be all right.

Milady: Oh, I'm gonna faint.

Imperial bodyguard: You're in safe hands.

Milady: Thank you.

Guards: And march! Halt!

Guard: You can't shoot. They'll hear you.

Guards: Wait for it! Turn left!

***************************

D'Artagnan: Constance! Constance! Hey, hey, excuse me!

Constance: Pardon, your Majesty. This will only take a moment. What are you doing here?

D'Artagnan: His Majesty wants a word with me. Imagine that.

Constance: Yes, lovely. Now, excuse me.

D'Artagnan: I was...I was thinking, after I'm finished with his Majesty, maybe we could talk?

Constance: I can't. I have plans.

D'Artagnan: What about tomorrow?

Constance: I have a lot of plans.

D'Artagnan: Well, I—

Constance: Look, d'Artagnan. You may have a new set of clothes and the king's favor, but you still act like a clumsy country boy. Now excuse me.

*****************************

Guards: And halt! About face! And march! Left! Left, right, left!

D'Artagnan: Two summons in two days. Your Majesty honors me.

King Louis XIII: Oh,cut it out. Please, think nothing of it. You're a good fellow, d'Artagnan. So, how are the ladies treating you these days?

D'Artagnan: Can't complain.

King Louis XIII: Yes, indeed. Well, same here, of course. Thing is... I've got this...friend. Just a regular chap, like you and me. He got married very young. Political alliance, arranged marriage, you know the sort of thing. Hardly knew the girl.

D'Artagnan: But he likes her?

King Louis XIII: Oh, uh, yes. Very much.

D'Artagnan: Well, does she like him?

King Louis XIII: Well, funny you should say that. That's the problem. He's, um, he's not sure. He just feels like a fool when he's around her. He's always saying the wrong thing. His palms are sweating. His heart's pumping so loud he's afraid she might hear it. It's torture just to look at her. Have you ever felt this way?

D'Artagnan: Not until recently.

King Louis XIII: So, what do we do? I mean, my friend. What does he do?

D'Artagnan: He should speak his heart. Be someone who cares for her and isn't afraid to show it. Be himself.

King Louis XIII: Well, that's what I told him.

D'Artagnan: Well, then he's doubly lucky. After all, he does have your Majesty as a friend.

King Louis XIII: Yes. Yes. It's good to have friends. Will you excuse me just for one moment?

Queen Anne: I don't believe it.

King Louis XIII: How are you?

Queen Anne: Very well.

King Louis XIII: I'm wearing blue.

Queen Anne: And you look very handsome in it.

King Louis XIII: Thank you. Yes, I, I, you are looking just v-very lovely. In fact, I was only just remarking to d'Artagnan how, um, how...how beautiful you are.

Queen Anne: Thank you, my Lord.

**************************

Cardinal Richelieu: How did it go?

Milady: Clockwork.

Cardinal Richelieu: Good. You'll go back to London with Buckingham and the diamonds.

Milady: And what should I do with them?

Cardinal Richelieu: Put them in his personal vault, the most secure location in all of England.

Milady: The Tower of London.

Cardinal Richelieu: Yeah. When the scandal breaks, he'll deny everything. But once the diamonds are discovered in his possession...

Milady: He would have led England to war through his indiscretion. And what of the future of France?

Cardinal Richelieu: I am France. One last thing. I suppose it's quite easy, perhaps even tempting for a double agent to play both sides.

Milady: Have I given your Eminence any reason to doubt my loyalty?

Cardinal Richelieu: Spare me the rhetoric. I know who you are. I know what you are. You have a gift for corruption and a penchant for betrayal. I admire such skills. But I'll destroy you the moment I suspect you might be using them against me. Do we understand one another?

Milady: There is another side to that coin. It's quite easy for an employer to sever all ties with his operative in the event that they are compromised...leaving them to rot in jail or on the gallows.

Cardinal Richelieu: Your point being?

Milady: I require a guarantee that I shall not suffer a similar fate. An insurance policy, if you will.

Cardinal Richelieu: My word should suffice.

Milady: I'm afraid I'll need something a bit more...substantial.

Cardinal Richelieu: It is by my order and for the good of the state that the bearer of this has done what has been done. Satisfied?

Milady: Immensely.