天堂是这样的：机械师是德国人，厨师是法国人，警察是英国人，爱人是意大利人，管家是瑞士人。地狱是这样的：机械师是法国人，厨师是英国人，警察是德国人，爱人是瑞士人，管家是意大利人。

蒋科 选注

Bordering European countries have complex caricatures[1] of each other, even when an outsider might think they’re more or less the same.

The French—Disliked by some Spanish, for being arrogant[2]. One woman from Barcelona told me, “Come on, who really likes the French? Nobody!”[3] The Swiss don’t like the fact that they have contempt for authority and are lazy.[4] The Brits[5], of course, have the most mixed feelings about the French, though. One half the country hates them, the other half loves them. Those that hate the French tend to like the Americans, and vice versa[6]. In the UK, they’re considered stinky, rude (they never line/queue up like decent people), and a bit yellow, based on their tendency to not fend off invaders like the Nazis.[7] The French, in turn, dislike the British, look down on Belgians for being stupid, and don’t have much to say, in my experience, about Spaniards or Germans (oddly).[8]

The Italians—Most of the stereotypes[9] are positive, but mostly because of the food. Northern Europeans consider them lazy and flaky, and maybe incapable of managing anything right (mostly because of the 50 plus governments they’ve had since WW II.[10] One Dutch professor I had dismissed an Italian one, saying, “All the Italians care about are pasta and mamma.”[11] Italians, in turn, don’t have strong feelings about other Europeans, but within Italy, the north-south divide is pretty strong. Northern Italians continuously complain that Southerners are lazy and unproductive, while Southerners complain that Northerners are devoid of culture or joie de vivre.[12]

The Germans—Germans are considered industrious but uptight and humorless,[13] by just about all the other Europeans. They know WWII is a sore spot for them, so other Europeans will often mercilessly tease them about it.[14] As much as Germany is considered an economic powerhouse[15], the vast majority of Europeans don’t really want to learn German or study there (or send their kids there to study). The food is considered uninspired, too, and only Berlin has some cachet among younger Europeans for its vibrant underground club scene.[16] The most anti-German sentiments are among the Dutch and Danish, who just hate them for invading their countries too often. When Germans ask for directions in Holland, they’re usually given directions to the shortest way out of the country.

The Scandinavians[17]—Widely respected by most other Europeans, because of their high standard of living ...and blond hair and blue eyes. However, within Scandinavia there are some persistent stereotypes. The Norwegians, Danes and Finns all think the Swedes are stupid and uptight. Norwegians are considered racist. Danes are considered more blunt than the others, maybe a bit more cranky, and the Finns are oddly introverted,[18] even by Scandinavian standards. Except for the Danes really disliking Germans, and Finns really disliking Russians, they don’t really have anything against other Europeans.

The Dutch—The Dutch, like the Scandinavians, have an enviable[19] economy and social order that’s admired by southern European countries. However, they do have a reputation of being self-righteous “know-it-alls” and very similar to their German cousins in terms of their rigidity.[20] But they do not like any comparisons to Germans. The Dutch are also disliked for being the biggest misers in Europe, and because of this they incur the wrath of the tourist industry wherever they travel.[21]

The Swiss—Considered extremely rigid, even by the Germans. Note that there is a big cultural divide between French-speaking Swiss, and the German-speaking Swiss. The former are almost exactly like the French, except having a blander cuisine and more respect for authority, the latter being more like the Germans except even more stiff, rigid and cranky.[22]

The Spaniards—Honestly, very little antagonism[23] against the Spanish or by the Spanish. No one really seems to dislike them, and they don’t seem to really dislike anyone else. (Yes, some Spaniards near the border to France don’t like the French very much) Not entirely sure why. However, God forbid you speak Spanish with a Latin American accent—there is still a lot of snobbery among Spaniards towards Latin Americans.[24] Spaniards consider themselves white and European, and would be deeply insulted if you suggested they were Latin American of any kind.

The Greeks—Only nominally considered European by other Europeans, but the Greeks fiercely identify themselves as Europeans.[25] Naturally, this is a huge irritant[26] to Greeks.

The British—About half of the British would be really angry at being called European. They are considered polite, but maybe a bit two-faced[27] and snobby. The Scots and Welsh are tolerated and liked, inasmuch as no one really knows too much about them outside the UK, but the English are those that bear the brunt of negative sentiments among other Europeans.[28] After all, London is in England. The English, in turn, really seem to hate everyone. This is because it’s pretty hard to find an Englishman that has even, at best, neutral[29] opinions about other Europeans. Europe is full of English expats, and the longer they live abroad, the more they seem to hate their host country.[30] And yet they never seem to want to move home.

The Irish—A very small country, but considered polite and humble. They nominally dislike the English, but I have yet to meet an Irishman who really loathes the English. The sentiments towards the Irish and by the Irish seem to be positive, overall.

I personally don’t know much about how the Portuguese, Hungarians, Romanians, Bulgarians, and others are perceived, or how they perceive others.[31] I’ll leave you with this poster I saw in an Italian office years ago, that helps sum it up in some ways:

In Heaven...

* the mechanics are German

* the chefs are French

* the police are British

* the lovers are Italian

* and everything is organized by the Swiss.

In Hell...

* the mechanics are French

* the chefs are British

* the police are German

* the lovers are Swiss

* and everything is organized by the Italians

Vocabulary

1. caricature: 漫画，讽刺画。

2. arrogant: 自大的，傲慢的。

3. Barcelona: 巴塞罗那，西班牙东北部港市；come on:〈口〉得了吧。

4. Swiss: 瑞士人；contempt: 轻蔑，轻视。

5. Brit:〈口〉英国人。

6. vice versa: 反之亦然。

7. 英国人认为法国人有体臭、粗鲁（他们从不像正派人那样排队），还有些胆小，这一点的根据是他们不会去抵御纳粹之流的入侵者。yellow: 胆怯的。

8. Belgian: 比利时人；have much to say: 责备；Spaniard: 西班牙人。

9. stereotype: 惯有的印象。

10. flaky: 古怪的，富有个人特色的；incapable: 无能力的。

11. Dutch: 荷兰人；pasta: 意大利面食，包括通心粉和细面条等；mamma: =mama，妈妈。

12. unproductive: 无成效的；devoid of: 没有……；joie de vivre: 〈法〉 对生活乐趣的尽情享受。

13. industrious: 勤奋的，勤劳的；uptight: 正直的，诚实的。

14. sore: 感到疼痛的，此处为比喻用法；tease: 戏弄，取笑。

15. powerhouse: 强国。

16. uninspired: 单调乏味的；cachet: 威望；vibrant: 充满生气的；underground: 地下的，秘密的。

17. Scandinavian: 斯堪的纳维亚人，指北欧的挪威人（Norwegian）、瑞典人（Swede）、芬兰人（Finn）和丹麦人（Dane）。

18. blunt: 迟钝的；cranky: 愚蠢的；introverted: 内向的。

19. enviable: 值得羡慕的。

20. self-righteous: 自以为是的；know-it-all: 自以为无所不知的人（含贬义）；rigidity: 僵化，死板。

21. miser: 吝啬鬼；incur: 招致，惹起；wrath: 愤怒。

22. bland: 淡而无味的；cuisine: 饭菜；stiff: 拘谨的，生硬的。

23. antagonism: 敌意，对立。

24. Latin American: 拉丁美洲人（的），拉丁美洲是美国以南所有美洲的通称；snobbery: 势利，形容词形式为snobby。

25. nominally: 名义上地；fiercely: 激烈地，强烈地；identify oneself: 自认为。

26. irritant: 刺激物。

27. two-faced: 圆滑虚伪的，两面派的。

28. Scot: 苏格兰人；Welsh: 威尔士人；inasmuch as: 鉴于，由于；brunt: 主要的压力。

29. neutral: 中性的，中立的。

30. expat: 移居国外者，侨民；host country: 东道国，指现居住的国家。

31. Portuguese: 葡萄牙人；Hungarian: 匈牙利人；Romanian: 罗马尼亚人；Bulgarian: 保加利亚人；perceive: 感知，感受。

（来源：英语学习杂志）