难说再见 Losing You

I’ve just come back from school, and I’m on my computer already! I could do anything to distract myself from your thoughts… I could read a book, do my homework or even have lunch.

But I just don’t want to. Because right now, all I really want to do is think about you. Think about the memories we made. Together. Or when we were apart. I knew I had you… and now I know that I don’t.

Our memories… that’s all I’m really left with. Remember the day when we first met and how I annoyed you with my not-so-funny jokes, and how you pretended to laugh at them? And the day when we had our first biggest fight and how you gave me a card that said “Open this envelope with a smile because today is a special day for you” on my birthday? And how that made us friends again? You’d made my day, really.

My chest hurts. It feels so empty.

I love us. I love everything about us. Everything. And I never wanted this to end. I hate seeing you go away. I just wish I could stop you somehow and tell you how much I need you here. With me forever. But that would be selfish.

Yesterday, I died a little inside when you said you’d be leaving at 10 pm for your flight. And I was just like,” Wow, so you really ARE leaving us.”

But I can’t help it, can I? Neither can you. I just realized how much I hated goodbyes. I don’t want to ‘goodbye’ you.

The truth is, I’ve never been open to many people. I’ve been shy and quiet. So if I loved you enough to tell you all my secrets and show you the real me… you must be very special.

I regret everything I’ve said or done to hurt you. I’m sorry. I never meant to do those things to you.

No matter the distance between us, no matter where you are, or where I am…I will always love you. And I just hope you love me too. Just for me, make sure Canada treats you better than we did.

You’re my best friend; you’ll always be my best friend. You’re my best friend for life.

You’re taking away eight years of my life with you. You’re the only person who actually got me, who could tell when I was upset, who knew how to make me feel better... and now that person is going away.

Will you just do me a favor? Just promise me one thing, okay? Promise me that you will never forget about me. That you will always remember that you had a friend named Harshita.

And that’s all I want you to do.