你单身的原因找到了！调查：七成人不愿将就，半数男生看脸

近日，团中央网络影视中心和“青年之声”婚恋服务委员会联合发布《当代青年群体婚恋观调查报告》（The Report on Contemporary Young People's Viewpoints on Marriage and Love，以下简称《报告》）。

《报告》调查了3082名19岁到35岁之间的青年男女。结果显示，近七成青年择偶“愿等待不愿将就”。

调查还显示，造成青年单身的三大原因分别是交际圈小、工作忙和不主动。

共青团中央根据这份调查制作了一系列图表，我们一起来看看具体内容吧。

▌择偶观：最注重“人品”和“性格”，“收入”不重要！

调查显示，在择偶观上，男女生都更加看重“人品”和“性格”。

The report said the group values "internal compatibility" in choosing partners.

调查显示年轻人选择对象时，更注重“内在匹配度”。

More than 80% regard moral standing as the most important criterion for dating, and 70% believe character comes first.

超过80%的人视“人品”为择偶最重要的标准，约70%的人看重性格。

值得注意的是，年轻人对对方的“学历”“地域”“家庭背景”“收入”的关注度普遍较低。

男女生对于相貌和能力的重视程度差别较大：

50%的男生是外貌协会，而只有28%的女生看重男生外貌；

约55%的女生看重对方的能力，而只有22%的男生看重女生的能力。

▌对网恋、婚恋网站、交友APP认可度较低

More than half of respondents believe online dating is "unreliable".

超过半数人认为网恋“不靠谱”。

About three-quarters prefer to be introduced to potential dates by acquaintances or at social, NGO or Communist Youth League gatherings. About 11% said they would meet their dates through social mobile apps.

73%的青年选择通过“单位、团组织或社会机构举办的联谊会”交友，11%的青年选择“社交App”。

▌ 男生比女生更主动追求爱情

Young males are more likely to take the initiative when starting a relationship.

男青年更有可能采取主动展开一段恋爱关系。

Almost three-quarters of male respondents said they would pursue desirable females, compared with only 36% of females saying they would pursue males.

73%的男生表示他们会主动追求喜爱的女生，而只有36%的女生会这样做。

▌单身三大原因：交际圈小、工作忙、不主动

Most young people cited a limited social circle, busy working hours and failing to make the first move as reasons behind their single status.

大多数年轻人认为自己单身是因为交际圈小、工作忙和不主动。

▌单身最大压力：家人催婚！

Nearly 50% of respondents think the biggest pressure comes from their families, who constantly urge them to get married.

近50%的人认为家人的催婚是单身期间最大压力。

▌近7成人“不愿将就”

如一直未找到理想结婚对象，70%的青年选择“继续等待，找到理想的人才结婚”。

其中，选择“继续等待”的女生比男生更多。

The vast majority would choose to remain single and wait if they failed to meet the "right" person.

如果找不到理想对象，大多数人选择继续单身和等待。

Less than 10 percent said they were willing to lower their criteria, though another 5 percent would settle for a marriage, the report said.

不到10%的人愿意降低标准，还有5%的人选择将就结婚。

▌男生比女生更向往婚姻

Nearly 70% of male respondents think life is incomplete without marriage, while 49% of females hold the same view.

68%的男性青年认为“结了婚人生才圆满”，而女性青年选择该项的比例为49%。

36% of females think single life can be happy too, a number double that of male respondents.

36%的女性青年认为“单身也很幸福”，持有该观点的比例是男性青年的两倍。

▌传统生育观仍占主流地位

The most desired family pattern for Chinese young adults is "parents plus children".

多数青年认为“夫妻和孩子生活在一起”的“传统家庭”是“最期待的家庭模式”。

Only 6% of respondents wanted to live a double-income-no-kids lifestyle.

仅有6%的青年选择“丁克家庭”。

Almost 60% of young adults say they want to have two children.

近六成青年表示希望生育两个小孩。

▌关于“未婚同居”，女生比男生更谨慎

Around 66% of male respondents said they were OK with cohabiting before marriage, while 47% of the females said so.

约66%的男性接受未婚同居，女性的这一比例为47%。

▌性知识了解程度和自我保护能力较弱

Nearly half of respondents said they "know a bit" about protected sex, with almost 20% not sure if what they know is correct. Only about one-third were confident they know enough about safe sex.

近一半受访者称自己对安全性行为“知道一点点”，20%的不确定自己了解到的十分正确，仅有1/3的人确信自己清楚了解安全性行为。

你为什么单身

话说起来，人们单身的原因除了交际圈小、工作忙、不主动以外，还有一些比较深层次的心理因素，贴心的双语君（微信ID：Chinadaily_Mobile）总结了几点，广大单身宝宝看看自己中了几条。

Defenses 自我保护

Most people have been hurt in interpersonal relationships. With time and painful experiences, we all risk building up varying degrees of bitterness and become defended.

大多数人都曾在人际关系中受到过伤害。随着时间的推移，又考虑到伤痛的过往，我们都不敢冒险增强不同程度的伤痛感，变得很有防御性。

Fear of Intimacy 害怕亲近

The reality is most people can only tolerate a certain amount of closeness. We are defended about letting someone else in.

事实是大多数人只能容忍一定程度的亲密感。在让别人进入我们的生活这件事儿上，我们都有防御性。

Pickiness 挑剔

When viewing the world from critical or distrusting eyes, we tend to write off a range of potential partners before even giving them a chance.

当我们以批判的或不信任的眼光去看这个世界的时候，我们可能还没给人机会呢，就把人家淘汰了。

Low Self-Esteem 自卑

We all possess "critical inner voices" that tell us we are too fat, too ugly, too old or too different. When we listen to these "voices," we engage in behaviors that push people away.

我们都有“爱自我批判的内心声音”，它告诉我们自己太胖了、太丑了、年纪太大了、与别人太不同了。当我们听到这些声音的时候，就会把别人推开。

Fear of Competition 害怕竞争

When we see that someone else is interested in the person we like, we may be quick to back away. We may feel unwilling to compete, particularly as we get older, and we start to have self-attacks like "Your time has passed, you're too old for this."

如果发现别人对自己喜欢的人有兴趣，我们可能会退却。我们多半不愿去竞争，特别是随着年纪的增长，开始自我攻击，比如“你的好时光已经过去了，你太老了不适合。”

Isolation and Routine 习惯独处

With age, people tend to retreat further and further into their comfort zones. As both men and women get more comfortable, be it financially or practically, it is also easier for them to form a bubble from which it is difficult to emerge.

随着年龄的增加，人们会越来越愿意安居在自己一个人的舒适区。不管是经济上还是实际上，男性和女性都过得更舒服，所以他们会更容易形成一个难以刺破的泡泡。

Rule-making 制定条条框框

As years pass, we often develop rulebooks for ourselves regarding dating. In effect, we put what we have learned "down on paper," but what looks good on paper doesn't always work in real life. When we act on rules based on our past, we can create a perpetual cycle of disappointing relationships.

一年年过去，我们通常在约会方面会搞出本规则手册。事实上，我们只是“纸上谈兵”，纸上看上去棒棒的规则不一定适用于现实生活。如果只是按照根据过往总结的规则行事，我们可能陷入失望关系无限循环的怪圈。

编辑：唐晓敏 左卓

记者：李磊