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1. “I miss you.” “If conversation was the lyrics, laughter was the music, making time spent together a melody that could be replayed over and over without getting stale.” – Nicholas Sparks Telling your partner you miss them through a simple text or email will make them feel needed, wanted, and appreciated. If you’re home with the kids while your partner is at work, send them a group family photo with a message like, “We can’t wait for you to get home!” 2. “How was your day?” “Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike.” – J.K. Rowling Resist the temptation to go on a tirade about how terrible your day was as soon as you walk in the door. This isn’t to say you can’t rant and rave about a bad day, but doing so without consideration of your partner’s life is self-centered. 3. “Do you remember that time we ______?” “Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things.” – Keanu Reeves Relationships have a way of losing that magical “spark” as the months and years go by. Reminding your partner of your most cherished memories together—like your first vacation together, or that one time you got busted making out in a mall elevator—will help you remember why your relationship is so special in the first place. 4. “How can I help?” “I want to be in a relationship where you telling me you love me is just a ceremonious validation of what you already show me.” – Steve Maraboli If you’ve ever panicked in the morning because you’re running late to work and can’t find your keys, you know there are few things more stressful than losing something at an inopportune time. Lighten your partner’s load by asking them how you can help when they appear stressed out or overburdened. 5. “What do you think?” “When you don’t talk, there’s a lot of stuff that ends up not getting said.” – Catherine Gilbert Murdock Your relationship shouldn’t be a dictatorship, but rather a democracy. Ask your partner how they feel about all decisions big and small, from where to visit for summer vacation, to your children’s education. 6. “You’re so gorgeous/handsome/hot.” “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” – Leo Buscaglia If you don’t compliment your partner, how can you expect them to feel wanted or appreciated? Tell them all about their strong-suits by saying things like: Physical – “I love it when you smile, because you have the cutest dimples.” Attitude – “I love how patient/thoughtful/kind/confident you are, because that makes me feel ______..” Attire – “I can’t stop checking out your butt in those jeans” or “Hello, tiger… you look quite GQ in that suit today!” 7. “Let’s meet in the middle.” “Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer.” – Robert Louis Stevenson It’s easy to become convinced that you’re 100% right during a nasty fight, but please resist the urge to be stubborn. Thinking your partner is wrong about something isn’t an excuse to discount how they feel. Let go of your need to be right and work together as a team. 8. “I’m sorry. You’re right.” “Every couple has ups and downs, every couple argues, and that’s the thing—you’re a couple, and couples can’t function without trust.” – Nicholas Sparks Making a mistake is okay (within reason) as long as you’re humble enough to say you’re sorry and accept personal responsibility. Refusing to admit your mistakes, however, could turn what would have been a small squabble into an eternal dispute that destroys trust. 9. “Please” and “Thank you” “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough” – Oprah Winfrey Tell me which one you’d rather hear from your partner: Take the dog outside. Hey honey, could you please take the dog outside? I’m tied up with the laundry right now, so I’d really appreciate it. Thanks! Big difference, am I right? 10. “I love you.” “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” – Lao Tzu No matter how long you’ve known a person, I can promise that those 3 words will never lose meaning. |
1.“我想你了” “如果我们的谈话是抒情诗，笑声是音乐，那么就让我们一起度过的时间化作一首歌曲，一遍又一遍地播放也不会厌倦。”--尼古拉斯.斯帕克斯 即使用简短的信息或是邮件告诉你的伴侣你很想念对方，这也会让另一半觉得自己是被需要和欣赏的，会有人在意的。当你回到家和孩子们在一起，而另一半还在工作时，那就给对方发一张家人的合影吧，并告诉她（他）：“我们已经等不及你早点回家了！” 2.“你今天过得好么？” “冷漠和忽视往往比坦诚的厌恶更加伤人”--J.K.罗琳 当你回到家时，不要急于去和你的伴侣去无休止地诉说你今天过得有多么糟糕。但这并不代表你不能发泄和抱怨这一天的恼火，而是要在说这些话时考虑到伴侣的感受，不能以自我为中心。 3.“你是否还记得我们那次——？” “坠入情网和保持长久的关系是两码事。”－－基努．里维斯 保持长久的关系也可能意味着随着时间的推移你们之间的碰撞出的激情“火花”也在慢慢消逝。所以你要时常提醒伴侣你们这一路走来的珍贵记忆－－比如说你们第一次的旅行，亦或是你们在商场的电梯里亲热被逮了个正着－－诸如这些都会首先帮助你回忆起你们的关系为何如此的特别。 4．“我怎样才能帮忙？” “我想，当我们在一起的时候，你对我的爱不要仅仅只是流于言表，而更重要的是对我无微不至的关怀。”－－史蒂夫．马拉波利 如果你曾经因为上班迟到或者是钥匙找不到了而感到过恐慌，那么你就自然会理解没有什么事情比在这个不凑巧的时间丢东西更让人抓狂了。当你的感到伴侣压力过大而不堪重负时，安抚对方并问问你可以帮她（他）做什么。 5．“你怎么认为？” “你沉默不语，于是有很多东西来不及说出口。”－－凯瑟琳．吉尔伯特．默多克 你们之间的关系既不能成为独裁主义，也不能过于民主自由。无论决定的大小，你都要问问你的伴侣的感受，比如说你们暑假到哪里旅游以及孩子的教育问题。 6．“你是如此的美丽／帅气／性感迷人 “我们通常会低估抚摸、一个微笑、一句赞美、一只倾听的耳朵、一句真诚的赞美、或是极小的关心的力量都有可能让一个人的生活发生改变。”--里奥.巴斯卡利亚 如果你不会赞美你的伴侣，你又怎么能期望他们有被想念和欣赏的感觉呢？那么你就应该像这样多赞美他们的长处： 身体上--“我最爱看你微笑起来时可爱的酒窝” 态度上--“我爱你是那么的有耐心、体贴人、善良、自信，因为那给我的感觉如此...——” 穿着上--“你穿的这条牛仔裤简直无法让我移开视线啊”或者“嗨，帅哥，你今天穿得真有型！” 7.“让我们各退一步吧” “妥协是最好而且低成本的律师”--罗伯特.路易斯.史蒂文孙 二人吵得不可开交时，双方都容易变得很自信，认为自己才是百分之百正确的那一方。这时请克制住自己的情绪不要变得那么固执。你要想想，你的伴侣在某些事情上的错误并不能成为你忽视他们感受的理由。 不要再想着你总是正确的了，你们要像一个团队一起工作。 8.“对不起，你才是对的。” “每对夫妻都会吵架，感情生活总免不了磕磕绊绊，但是即便这样--你们也是夫妻，如果彼此不信任就没法共度此生。”--尼古拉斯.斯巴克斯 只要你足够放下面子说声抱歉并且勇于承担，那么在合理范围内犯错误时没有关系的。但是如果你拒绝承认错误，那么本来只是小小的口角最终会演变成长期的矛盾，从而影响夫妻间的信任。 9.“请”和“谢谢” “感激你现在所拥有的；你将会拥有更多。如果你只是关心你未曾得到的，你将永远不会满足。”--欧普拉.温弗莉 告诉我你愿意从你的伴侣口中听到哪一个： 出去遛狗。 亲爱的，能请你出去遛遛狗么？我在阳台晾衣服呢，你要是能去简直是太好了。谢喽！ 二者差别很大，是不是？ 10.“我爱你” “被爱给予你力量，爱人给予你勇气。”--老子 不管你和伴侣相爱多久，我保证这三个字永远不会失去意义。 （译者 1101焦申硕 编辑 丹妮） |
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