李尧

本期点评专家：李尧

译题一：Walden Pond

"I was rich, if not in money, in sunny hours and summer days." --Henry David Thoreau

When Thoreau wrote that line, he was thinking of the Walden Pond he knew as a boy.

Woodchoppers and the Iron Horse had not yet greatly damaged the beauty of its setting. A boy could go to the pond and lie on his back against the seat of a boat, lazily drifting from shore to shore while the loons dived and the swallows dipped around him. Thoreau loved to recall such sunny hours and summer days" when idleness was the most attractive and productive business."

I too was a boy in love with a pond, rich in sunny hours and summer days. Sun and summer are still what they always were, but the boy and the pond changed. The boy, who is now a man, no longer finds much time for idle drifting. The pond has been annexed by a great city. The swamps where herons once hunted are now drained and filled with houses .The bay where water lilies quietly floated is now a harbor for motor boats.

In short, everything that the boy loved no longer exists-- except in the man's memory of it.

第一段文字比较容易，大多数朋友翻译得都还不错。但有的网友把"...I was rich, if not in money, in sunny hours and summer days." 翻译成：“我很富有，但除了金钱，还有时间，阳光。”就不对了。因为这里没有“除了……还有……”的意思。正确的翻译应该是：“我很富有，如果说我没有金钱，却有阳光明媚的时光和夏天美好的日子。”也可以译为“即使没有……也有……”。Lazily drifting from shore to shore基本上有两种不同的译法。一种是：“男孩懒洋洋地背靠在船上，任由自己由这岸漂向那岸。”另外一种是“…… 在小船中仰卧着，让小船从一边自由地漂浮到另一边。”第一位译者的着眼点是男孩“漂向那岸”；第二位译者的着眼点是“小船从一边自由地漂浮到另一边”。我以为第一位译者理解得对。另外“漂浮”二字也不甚妥当。“漂浮”主要指“漂浮在水面”，没有方向感和运动感。Swallows dipped around him.有的朋友翻译成“燕子飞驰过水面”，从中文的角度不妥。我们说“骏马飞驰在草原上”，“汽车飞驰在公路上”，不可以说某种鸟儿“飞驰在水面上”。我们用“飞”形容“驰”。而“驰”是“奔跑”之意，鸟只能飞，不能跑。其实我们把这句话翻译成“燕子环绕着他掠过水面”就可以了。Except in the man's memory of it.有的朋友把这里的man翻译成“男人”是不对的，尽管前面与之相对应的是boy。我觉得翻译成“人”就可以了。传统上，man 以及它的衍生字一般是用来指任何人或整个人类， 不考虑性别。在古英语中，这就是man 这个字主要的意思， 即“人” 而不分性别。

译题二：Can you trust Washington?

Nearly 80 percent of Americans say they can't and they have little faith that the massive federal bureaucracy can solve the nation's ills, according to a survey from the Pew Research Center that shows public confidence in the federal government at one of the lowest points in a half-century. The poll released Sunday illustrates the ominous situation facing President Barack Obama and the Democratic Party as they struggle to maintain their comfortable congressional majorities in this fall's elections. Midterm prospects are typically tough for the party in power. Add a toxic environment like this and lots of incumbent Democrats could be out of work.

第二段，翻译得也不错。但有几个地方不够准确。“massive federal bureaucracy can solve the nation's ills”这句话,有的朋友翻译成“对臃肿的美国政府机关能否够解决国内问题持不信任态度”，有的人翻译成“认为庞大的官僚机构无法解决国内种种弊端”。基本都传达出来原文的意思，但我觉得翻译成“庞大的官僚机构”更好一点，此处的ill作名词用，意为“问题、弊端”。如果我翻译，也许翻译成“痼疾”。President Barack Obama and the Democratic Party as they struggle to maintain their comfortable congressional majorities in this fall's elections.中的“comfortable”也不大好翻，所以大部分朋友都回避了这个词不翻译，或者翻译得不贴切。而把它翻译成“……美国总统奥巴马和民主党正努力为在秋季大选中获得大量的选票”，则有些过度意译。笔者认为翻译成“努力 保住民主党在国会中令人无忧的多数席位”较妥当。至于最后几个字“be out of work”，大家也翻译得五花八门。有的译成“下岗”，有的译成“失业”，都不合适。我觉得翻译成“下台”为好。因为这是针对政界人士一般的说法，而“下岗”太中国化，“失业”用在落选议员的身上也不合适。

译题三：How to Beat the Job-Search Blues

Jacob Roberts wasn't that surprised when he got the ax. The 28-year-old New Yorker worked in finance, after all. Shortly after things began to head south on Wall Street, he started saving money and revamping his résumé. Roberts was snared in the fourth round of layoffs at Information Management Network, a corporate finance conference company where he was an assistant producer. Still, he wasn't worried. "The way I looked at it at the time was, 'I'm 28, I have a college degree, and I live in New York City. There must be plenty of jobs,'" he says.

第三段，大家把题目How to Beat the Job-Search Blues翻译成“如何克服失业期的抑郁”或者“如何战胜找工作时的沮丧情绪”都没错，但是有的朋友翻译成“如何战胜找工作中的忧郁症”就不对了。因为blues在这里不是“忧郁症”，而是“抑郁和沮丧的情绪”。Got the ax翻译成被解雇也没有问题。Ax 有“被削减”的意思。把“Roberts was snared in the fourth round of layoffs……”翻译成“罗伯茨在第四轮裁员中被辞退……”基本上没有问题。Snare的原意是“安圈套， 捕捉， 陷害”。这里的意思也就是第四轮裁员时“被捕捉到了”。因此别的译法都不太合适。另外，Information Management Network, a corporate finance conference company .显然是罗伯茨工作的单位， he was an assistant producer.是他在那个单位的职位。也就是说他是在这个职位上被单位解雇的。好几位朋友都把这个显而易见的关系搞乱了。把"The way I looked at it at the time was, 'I'm 28, I have a college degree, and I live in New York City. There must be plenty of jobs,'" he says.翻译成：“ 他说：‘我是这么想的。我才28岁，拥有大学学历，住在纽约。这里的工作机会非常多。’”就很好了。别的译法都不准确。总之，这段文字比较通俗，也比较活泼，用了不少口语化的东西，翻译时要多从习惯性用法考虑。

以上看法供大家参考。

语言的约定俗成与翻译
英译中过程中的词义判断
翻译要重“神似”
上期点评：广州亚运会口号“动感亚洲,感动世界”的翻译
上期点评：“审时度势”、“万众一心”的译法
上期点评：“火车票实名制”如何译最佳？

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专家简介：

李尧，中国作家协会会员，商务部国际商务官员研修培训学院教授。已经翻译出版英、美、澳大利亚文学、文化、历史专著四十六部。多部作品获奖。2008年，澳大利亚政府因其在中澳文化交流，特别是在文学翻译领域的突出成绩，授予李尧先生“杰出贡献奖章”。

（中国日报网英语点津 编辑：蔡姗姗）