爱情专家：选择伴侣跟选择宠物类似

4. Good manners

  礼貌

This goes without saying. But it's not limited to table manners.

这一点不言而喻，但这并不只是指餐桌礼仪。

Snarliness towards waiters, children, and anyone outside the charmed circle of you and your date is a bad sign of things to come.

怒骂服务生、孩子、交际圈之外的人或者约会对象，不好的事情就会发生。

Selective good manners actually suggest that those manners are not deeply ingrained and may soon melt away.

选择性礼貌事实上暗示着它们并未深入人心，也许很快就会消失殆尽。

5. Over-exuberance

  感情过于热烈

Pushy does not mean keen. It means pushy.

一意孤行就是它的字面意思，而非热切的渴望。

First date pushiness is the sign of someone who doesn't respect boundaries and will end up pushing you into emotional corners.

第一次约会时表现出的一意孤行可以看作是不尊重他人底线的表现，这会破坏感情进一步发展的可能。

6. Good behaviour

  良好的行为举止

Many a woman who has overlooked a little first date leering - at other women - has lived to rue the day.

许多女性曾在第一次约会时忽略了约会对象对其他女性暗送秋波的细节，事后想起都会为此而懊悔。

You have standards for how you would dress and behave on a first date. Your date should, too.

对于第一次约会时的穿着和举止，你应该要有自己的一套标准。你的约会对象也应如此。

If your date's behaviour violates your standards in any way that's a clear sign that you could be in for a rough ride.

如果约会时的行为举止与自定的标准不同，那么你将会踏上一条曲折的感情之路。

7. Docility

  性情温顺

You want your date to be sensitive and responsive to your wishes.

你理想中的约会对象应该是一个能察觉到你愿望并帮你实现它的人。

Choosing your meal for you, unasked, or making decisions for you without consulting you is a clear sign of wanting to be top dog.

一个人没有询问你意见就帮你点菜的，或是没有同你商量就擅自帮你做决定，很明显，他想成为你们关系中的主导者。

Do you want to be reduced to playing Bottom Dog?

难道你想沦为感情中的弱者吗？

8. Playfulness

  能给你带来快乐

You want someone not just to have fun with, but someone who's fun to be around.

你不仅希望可以同约会对象相处愉快，还希望他能给周围的人带来快乐。

That doesn't necessarily mean someone who acts like a kid - what long-term kids are actually looking for is second mummies. You want someone who you feel comfortable enough around to be silly with.

但这并不意味着约会对象的行为举止要表现得像个孩子。一个像孩子一样总长不大的人实际上是要为自己再找一个妈妈。你理想中的伴侣应该是一个能让你觉得舒心的人，即使你和他在一起时像个傻瓜。

9. Beware rogue breeders

  当心周围疯狂的约会发起者

If you've been single for a while, friends may take it upon themselves to set you up with 'lovely dates'.

如果你处于感情空窗期有一段时间，你的朋友们可能会为你策划一场美好的约会，主动肩负起给你介绍对象的重任。

Just because they find that date 'lovely' in the context in which they know them doesn't mean you will.

她们认为一场约会是美好的，并不代表对你而言也是一样的。

You wouldn't buy a house just on the say-so of Mrs Bloggs three doors down.

你不会因为住在离你三户远的布洛格斯太太（MrsBloggs）随口说的一句话，就买下一座房子。

You always have to do your own due diligence.

所以，你要认真地考虑问题。

10. Leave the paperwork at home

  丢掉幻想

Women are terrible at playing 'Fantasy Future' - they go on a first date and, provided the man isn't an obvious freak or psychopathic monster, they get busy imagining their future life with that person.

女性在幻想美好方面往往很不成功。她们在第一次约会时，只要男性不是一个情绪反复无常的怪人或是精神失常的怪物，接下来，她们开始忙于沉浸在和约会对象未来生活的幻想中。

A first date is not designed to be a marriage contract., it's simply the start of getting to know another person.

第一次约会并不是要制定一份结婚条约，而是双方相互了解的开始。

If you find yourself fantasising about that happy future, take a cold shower, or speak to a grounded friend.

如果你发觉自己开始沉浸在对未来的美好幻想之中，赶紧去洗个冷水澡或是找一位好友聊一聊。

Vocabulary:

parallel: 相似之处

chequered: 多变的

knack: 诀窍

unsavoury: 令人讨厌的

demanding: 苛刻的

aphrodisiac: 催情药

pedigree: 血统

alpha male: 大男子主义者

incessant: 不断的

rocket science: 复杂的事

snarliness: 怒吼

ingrained: 根深蒂固的

exuberance: 感情洋溢

pushy: 一意孤行的

leering: 媚眼，秋波

rue: 后悔

top dog: 获胜者

Bottom Dog: 失败者

rogue: 凶猛的

grounded: 注重实际的

（中国日报网英语点津 祝兴媛）