幸福婚姻秘诀：多对伴侣说“谢谢你”

Researchers say there's one simple way to fix your marriage; say 'thank you' to your partner.
研究人员指出，要想使婚姻关系变得稳固，最简单的一个方法就是对伴侣说“谢谢你”。

A new study has found gratitude and believing that your partner values you, directly influences how you behave in your marriage, as well as your levels of commitment.
最新研究表明，感恩的心情以及相信配偶对自己的珍视，会直接影响一个人在婚姻中的行为和对婚姻的忠诚度。

Scientists at Georgia University asked 468 married people questions about their finances, communication style and how grateful they felt towards their partner.
乔治亚州大学的科学家对468名已婚人士进行调查，了解他们的财务情况、与伴侣的沟通方式以及他们对伴侣是否怀有感恩之心。

They found that gratitude consistently predicts how happy someone will be in their marriage.
他们发现，感恩的心态会直接决定一个人在婚姻中的幸福程度。

'It goes to show the power of "thank you,"' said the study's lead author Allen Barton, a postdoctoral research associate at UGA's Center for Family Research.
该研究的发起者、佐治亚大学家庭研究中的一名博士后研究员艾伦•巴顿（Allen Barton）说，这点显示出了“谢谢你”的力量他是。

'Even if a couple is experiencing distress and difficulty in other areas, gratitude in the relationship can help promote positive marital outcomes.'
“即便一对夫妻正在经历着拮据和其他方面的困难，感激之情也有助于促进夫妻关系朝积极的方向发展”。

The study also found that higher levels of saying 'thank you' protected men and women from the damage caused when arguing.
研究还发现，经常表达谢意能避免夫妻因争吵而损害彼此间的感情。

'Importantly, we found that when couples are engaging in a negative conflict pattern like demand/withdrawal, expressions of gratitude and appreciation can counteract or buffer the negative effects of this type of interaction on marital stability,' said Ted Futris, an associate professor at Georgia University.
乔治亚州大学副教授泰德•福翠丝（Ted Futris）表示：“重要的是我们发现当夫妻两个处于像强势和被动型搭配的消极冲突模式中时，感恩和欣赏的情感表达能够消减或缓冲这种互动模式给婚姻稳定带来的负面影响。”

'This is the first study to document the protective effect that feeling appreciated by your spouse can have for marriages,' Barton said.
巴顿说：“这还是首个证明得到配偶的欣赏，对婚姻关系有保护作用的研究”。

'We think it is quite important as it highlights a practical way couples can help strengthen their marriage, particularly if they are not the most adept communicators in conflict.'
“我们认为，这十分重要，它为夫妻双方指明了一种有助于巩固其婚姻关系的实用方法，如果两人在发生争执时都不善于交流就更是如此。”

Results from this study also back up earlier research on something known as demand/withdraw communication, as well as how money problems can damage marriage.
这项研究的结果也证明了此前有关强势/被动型交流模式，以及金钱问题会破坏婚姻关系方面的研究。

'Demand/withdraw communication occurs when one partner tends to demand, nag or criticise, while the other responds by withdrawing or avoiding the confrontation,' Barton said.
巴顿说：“当夫妻一方有需要、开始唠叨或吹毛求疵的时候，就会发生强势/被动型交流模式，而另一方以消极被动方式回应，或者回避争执”。

'Although wife demand/husband withdraw interactions appear more commonly in couples, in the current study we found financial distress was associated with lower marital outcomes through its effects on increasing the total amount of both partners' demand/withdraw interactions.'
“虽然妻子强势/被动搭配的互动模式在夫妻关系中更为常见，在目前的研究中 我们发现，财务上的拮据会导致欠佳的婚姻，因为财务问题会增加夫妻双方强势/被动模式的互动。”

He explained that when couples are stressed about making ends meet, they are more likely to be critical of each other, as well as defensive. Gratitude, however, can interrupt this cycle, he claims.
他解释说，当夫妻为收支平衡所烦恼时，他们更可能会对彼此横加指责，也会为自己进行辩护，但感恩可以中断这种恶性循环。

This was measured in terms of the degree to which individuals felt appreciated by their spouse, valued by their spouse and acknowledged when they did something nice for their spouse.
这是根据某人做了些有助于配偶的事，而后感到自己受到配偶的欣赏、认可程度来衡量的。

'All couples have disagreements and argue,' Futris said. 'And, when couples are stressed, they are likely to have more arguments.
“所有夫妻都会出现分歧和争吵，” 福翠丝说。当夫妻感到紧张时，很可能会发生更多争吵。

'What distinguishes the marriages that last from those that don't is not how often they argue, but how they argue and how they treat each other on a daily basis.'
“持久和失败婚姻的区别并非在于夫妻多久吵一次架，而是他们在日常生活中吵架和对待彼此的方式。”

Vocabulary

marital：婚姻的

buffer：缓冲

英文来源：每日邮报

译者：李素燕--HBU

审校&编辑：丁一