借钱给亲友的五大黄金法则

Getting hit up for a loan can make you feel like you’re stepping into a minefield. In today’s economy, it’s easy to understand how someone can find themselves in a dark place financially. On the one hand, you want to help out a loved one who’s in need.
当有人向你借钱时，你会感到如踏雷区。在当今的经济形势下，要明白他人如何身处财政噩梦并不是一件难事，但另一方面，你也想帮助亲近之人摆脱危机。

On the other hand, you’ve heard the stories about loans gone wrong, with friendships ruined and families torn apart. Also, you may be depleting funds that you might need yourself, says Irene S. Levine, Ph.D., psychologist, author and producer of TheFriendshipBlog.com. Even if you’re sure that the asker will pay you back, it’s hard to know if you should proceed.
然而，你一定没少听过这样的事：借钱借出了问题，导致友情破裂，家庭破碎。TheFriendshipBlog.com网站作者兼编辑，心理学博士艾琳•S•莱文表示，你还有可能因此花光自己需要的钱。即使你确信借款者会还款，你也不确定是否该把钱借出去。

To help guide you toward making the right decision, we asked financial experts to share five key things to consider before cracking open your wallet.
为了帮助各位在打开荷包前做出正确的决定，我们邀请财务专家向大家分享了5点宝贵意见。

Rule 1: Only Say Yes if You Mean It
法则1：想借再借

If you feel guilt-tripped into making the loan by the asker (“I’m desperate!”) or you question your own hesitation (“I must be a bad person or I wouldn’t feel conflicted”), then turn her down, says Levine.
莱文表示，如果你因为愧疚才借款给请求者（“我走投无路了！”）或质疑自己的犹豫不决（“我一定是个坏人，否则我就不会这么矛盾了”），那么就选择拒绝。

If you do cough up the cash when you aren’t sure you want to, you risk feeling resentful, and that can cripple the relationship before it’s even time for her to repay you. Not going through with the loan doesn’t make you selfish or a bad friend; the response may actually protect your bond, she adds.
如果你在不确定是否想要借钱时勉强借钱给对方，那么你很可能会感到愤懑不满，这种感觉甚至会在借款人还款前就摧毁你们间的友谊。莱文补充道，不借钱不意味着你很自私或是一个不合格的朋友，正确的回应才能真正维护你们间的感情。

Levine suggests graciously declining with a sentiment like, “I’d really like to help, but I don’t have the extra money to loan right now.” If you feel like you need to explain further, mention an unexpected expense you were recently hit with, such as higher health insurance premiums, or something you have to save for, like your kids’ college education.
莱文建议，婉拒对方时需带着一种情感，比如“我真的很想帮助你，但现在手头上没有多余的闲钱。”如果你觉得有必要再做进一步解释，那么可以提一些近期碰上的意外开销，比如高额保险费，或像孩子的大学费用这类需要存钱的花费。

Offering to help brainstorm other sources for the loan or ways to bring down her debt (if that’s the situation) can be a thoughtful next move. A true friend or relative will be willing to accept no and then thank you for any additional help. If she doesn’t, better that your relationship sours before you’ve forked over any funds.
下一步体贴的做法是，帮助借款者找寻其他借款来源或想办法减轻其债务（如果这是其面临的处境）。真正的朋友或亲人会接受你的拒绝并感谢你提供的任何额外帮助。如果对方不这么做，那么这段友情还是在你提供任何资金前先破裂为妙。