研究：走出分手阴影仅需11周

HOW TO GET OVER A SHOCK BREAK-UP

如何走出分手阴影

If you find yourself suddenly alone, don't despair. Relationship expert and self help guru Dr Pam Spurr gives her tips for healing the heartache...

如果你突然觉得孤独，不要失望，恋爱专家和自助专家帕姆·斯普尔（Pam Spurr）博士给出了治疗心痛的意见：

1. Don't blame yourself

不要自责

Remind yourself regularly that the relationship ended because your partner had the problem with communicating, which was nothing to do with you. You were willing and able to talk about your problems but your partner couldn't deal with that... which is their loss.

经常提醒自己，你们关系的终结是由于对方不善于沟通，与你无关。你愿意与对方探讨自己的问题，但他无力解决，这是他的损失。

2. Take up something new

找些新乐子

It's important that it's completely unrelated to your ex, and even better if it's something they didn't want you to do! So many people who've had these sort of break-ups keep doing the same things they did with their ex, which just increases their pain. Leave those things until much later, when the pain of the break-up has faded.

这些事必须与你的前任毫无关系，最好是他不愿让你做的事！很多人分手后做着和从前一样的事，这只会徒增痛苦，把那些事留到以后做吧，直到分手的痛苦消失。

3. Date for fun

为了开心去约会

Now's not the time to look for another meaningful relationship. Enjoy your friends, go out with interesting people, but put all thoughts of a replacement relationship out of your mind.

现在不是找新伴侣的时候，享受友谊，和有趣的人外出，但是不考虑寻找新的另一半。

4. Don't be a relationship bore

不要不停诉苦

Spend more time with your friends and family by all means, but try not to keep going over the break-up with them again and again. Much as they love you and want you to be happy, even they can't be expected to stick around if you're constantly going over the same ground. You need your friends, so don't scare them away!

多花些时间陪伴家人和朋友，不要一再诉说分手的痛苦。他们爱你，希望你开心，不想听到你不停诉苦。你需要朋友，所以不要吓走他们。

5. Work on your 'I don't care' attitude

保持“我不在乎”的态度

Even if you do still deeply care about your ex, with practise this will really help speed up your recovery. Focus on all the annoying things they used to do; try and decide what used to irritate you the most. Soon you'll be amazed to find you really don't care any more.

即使你很在意你的前任，“我不在乎”的态度也可以帮助你快速恢复。关注他们所做的一切惹人烦的事情，选择一件最能激怒你的，很快你就会发现你不在乎。

（译者：xinxin10 编辑：祝兴媛）