英考生申请上霍格沃茨 招生办诙谐拒绝

Getting into university is hard enough at the best of times - but when your chosen institution is a work of fiction you're really up against.
即便是在最好的时代，考入大学也是挺困难的事儿，要是你选的学校还是小说中虚构的学校，那就难上加难了。

And that's why this young joker's UCAS application to Hogwarts University was unsuccessful.
这也正是这位恶作剧的的年轻人没能通过英国高校招生机构UCAS成功申请到霍格沃茨魔法学院（Hogwarts University）的原因。

But the admissions services' response to the prankster is hilarious.
但UCAS给这个捣蛋鬼的回信更加让人忍俊不禁。

The unnamed A-Level student wrote a handwritten note to UCAS asking for a place studying 'Wandology' at the Harry Potter school.
这位匿名的英国高考生给UCAS手写了一个申请表，申请去哈利•波特（Harry Potter）所在的学校攻读“魔杖学”。

In the application, he boasted of his proficiency in "wearing a pointy hat" and "Watching Paul Daniels TV Specials".
在申请表中，他夸耀自己在“戴尖帽”、“观看保罗•丹尼尔斯（Paul Daniels）的魔术电视专题节目”上颇有建树。

UCAS replied: "We regret to inform you that your application to the stated establishment cannot be processed at this time due to the fact that it does not exist.
UCAS回复说：“我们很遗憾地通知您，您的学校申请现在无法办理。原因是该校并不存在。”

"After consultation with our mystic advisors we have also determined that even if it did exist, the course 'Wandology' would be highly in demand and hence require at least two As and a B in any of the following subjects:
“同我们的魔法顾问协商后，我们还确定，即便该校存在，‘魔杖学’这一课程的竞争一定会非常激烈，因此要求在以下科目中拿到至少两个A和一个B。”

Advanced Spellcrafting
高等魔咒写作

Mystimatics
魔法学

Defence Against the Dark Arts
黑魔法防御术

History of the Occult
魔法史

Shaft Design
魔杖设计

"Your hand written grade sheet claiming top marks in 'Waving a stick about', 'Wearing a pointy hat' and 'Watching Paul Daniels TV Specials' sadly is not suitable for submission, however by applying through clearing you may be suitable for a selection of Liberal Arts courses.
“您的手写成绩单提及您在‘挥舞木棍’、‘戴尖帽’和‘观看保罗•丹尼尔斯的魔术电视专题节目’这三门科目上成绩颇高，但很遗憾，上述成绩并不符合申请要求。但如果您通过补录程序申请空缺名额，您可能适合学习某些文科课程。”

"Alternatively you may wish to resubmit next year by tying your letter to an owl and hoping for the best.
“或者您可能愿意明年继续申请，那么请您务必将您的信件绑在猫头鹰上，祝您好运。”

"On behalf of UCAS I wish you every success."
“谨代表UCAS祝您一切顺利。”

Vocabulary

prankster：恶作剧的人

occult：神秘学

shaft：杆状物

clearing：英国UCAS补录程序

英文来源：镜报

译者：白洁

审校&编辑：刘明