机智警告牌 专治各种熊孩子

很多人都有这样的经历：刚想在飞机上打个盹，前排就响起了震耳欲聋的啼哭；正准备和爱人共享烛光晚餐，隔壁桌的一只小肉手就伸进了你的盘子。不论在任何公共场所，熊孩子有办法让你兴致尽失，甚至还会引发大人之间争吵。为了让客人享受惬意的环境，不被熊孩子打扰，一些商家不得不挂出滑稽的恶搞警告牌，提醒家长看管好自己的孩子。

There's nothing quite like a child's shrill scream to ruin the atmosphere when you're enjoying a relaxing restaurant meal.
当你正在餐厅悠闲地享受美食时，没有比小孩的尖叫声更加破坏气氛的了。

Conscious of the needs of their child-free customers, staff at these establishments have put up spoof signs warning parents of dire consequences if they fail to keep their kids in check.
考虑到没有小孩的客人们的需求，一些场所的工作人员挂出恶搞标语，以警告父母不看管好自己小孩的可怕后果。

From threatening to give noisy little ones coffee or teaching them to swear to selling them to the circus, the tongue in cheek posters are a reminder that diners prefer children to be seen, and not heard...
这些威胁包括给吵闹的孩子咖啡或教他们骂人、把他们卖给马戏团，滑稽的标语提醒着人们用餐者并不希望未见其人便闻童音……

A restaurant sign, left outside, warns customers that unattended children will be given coffee and taught to swear.
一家餐厅外摆放的标示告诫顾客，无人看管的孩子将得到咖啡并学习骂人。

A warning sign says that children not kept in check will in fact be sold to the circus
一则警示标志写道真的会将无人看管的孩子卖给马戏团。

A lot of parents might just be tempted to take this establishment up on their offer to trade in children for tasty donuts.
很多父母可能都想在这里把孩子换成美味的甜甜圈。

If your child disappears from view then they might just be turned into a pie at this restaurant.
如果你的孩子从你的视线中消失了，那么他们可能变成了这家餐厅的馅饼。

Parents brave enough to take noisy kids along to a restaurant could end up going home without them.
敢把吵闹的孩子带到这间饭店的父母可以不用带着孩子回家啦。

A notice to all children makes it clear that there will be no crying or screaming in their establishment at any time - and that goes for the grown ups too.
这张警示明确告诉所有小朋友，此地任何时候都禁止哭喊吵闹，而这一点对成年人同样适用。

A grill house says that naughty children will be turned into burgers while another says that unattended children will be given wild promises about what Santa Claus will bring them
一家烧烤店扬言熊孩子会被做成汉堡，而另一间店铺称，他们将对无人看管的孩子胡乱许诺圣诞老人会带给他们的礼物。

A lot of children might start running away from their parents if they realise that they might be given a free kitten as a result.
如果意识到自己可能会得到一只小猫，那么很多孩子可能会从父母身边溜走。

Do you want your children to be served as sausage? Don't let them out of your sight in this establishment if not.
你希望自己的孩子被做成香肠吗？如果不想，那就不要让他们离开你的视线。

Oaklands welcomes customers but warns that naughty children will be composted if they run in the garden nursery.
Oaklands欢迎客人光临，但是同时警告如果熊孩子在花园的苗圃中乱跑，那么他们将被制成肥料。

英文来源：每日邮报
翻译&编辑：董静
审校：yaning