张明权 |
本期点评专家:张明权
参考译文:
After Kaloshi, the Naked Resignation
Stung by the news of a rookie white collar cut off in her prime who had just graduated for half a year, several employees have given up, according to their posts in forums, their "pressurized: positions that may earn each of them an annual pension of more than RMB 100, 000 at "Big Four" (PWC, DTT, Ernest & Young, and KPMC) and top 500 enterprises. The "quitters" say they need to take a rest or find an alternative job of low pay but with little pressure. The call for "a life away from Big Four" echoed on the microblog heats up the "naked resignation wave" in a season of job hunting. However, employees are warned by HR experts against overacting to the incident, while employers are prompted to take viable measures to help relax their employees.
全球化是当今翻译的最大语境,在一个超级互联的世界里,任何信息都会瞬间传遍全球,许多词汇因此开始在全球共享,比如源于日语的kaloshi(过劳死),比如不知道算不算中国人首创的naked resignation(裸辞)等。在中国加入WTO以后,世界500强企业大多已经进入中国,四大会计师事务所也在中国开办了业务,中国不仅完全融入了世界,而且中国就是世界的缩影,全球共此冷暖,词汇同样可以分享,因此一些China English的词汇不断被创造出来,比如之前探讨过的ungelivable等。
译题一标题中的两件事是接续发生的,在翻译的时侯把二者串起来很重要,karen87和momowuwen都使用了in the wake of来翻译,表示在“过劳死”之后,“裸辞”接踵而至;clumsy和serenatan分别用prompt和cause来揭示两件事情之间的因果关系;这些翻译都是正确的。“触动”也需翻得形象一点,而且“受到此事触动”是联系上下文的纽带,不少网友忽视了这一点,但clumsy处理的很好,用alarmed by领跑一个复杂的句子,并能把原文的多余信息处理掉。该网友的翻译整体上很好,不过用resignation wave来对译“裸辞”,反映了译者对直译和使用中国英语的担心。“超高压”一词也不容易翻译,pressurized这个词本义是“增压的”,也引申指“忙不过来的”,笔者觉得比直译superpressure positions或high-pressured要更地道一些。“矫枉过正”的翻译也不一而足,有些网友过分依赖词典,使用overcorrect来对译是不可取的,成语的翻译一定要结合上下文,所以要指明是overreact to the incident,也就是一位女员工偶然早逝的这一事件。
翻译不仅是词语的问题,更重要的是句子结构和段落的整体布局的调整,比如这里的口号“珍爱生命,远离四大”,放在calling for后面时,一定要用名词或动名词的形式,还有就是英语的词汇对句型的要求往往很高,在翻译时一定要给与特别的关注,比如像The echo of "death from overwork" determined the high-income white-collars resign这样的翻译中,就忽略了resign的词性,在网友的翻译还有不少此类问题,限于篇幅不能一一指出。
参考译文:
"Mum would be so proud of Kate", says Prince William
More details are exposed of the scheduled nuptials of Prince William and Kate Middleton. One top official of the royal household publicized in advance the future King's speech: the son would show tributes to his mother, the late Lady Diana, as much as to say "I miss you every day"; he would speak of the two most important women of his life, and that "Mum would be so proud of Kate".
According to the said official, this speech of William's would show his emotional side unknown to his people, it would be the most affecting and move all guests to tears present at the wedding. William would proceed with resemblances between Kate and Mum and virtues they share, especially in showing benevolence, and Mum would be "shrilled" at his son and Kate getting married.
关于英国王室的报道大多是根据英语报道编译成中文的,现在要翻译成英语首先必然涉及回译的技巧,特别是有关威廉王子演讲的内容,最好能找到原文,回译过去,可惜的是我查阅了相关的报道,并没有找到王子完整的讲话稿,只有一些只言片语,零星的看出他的一些用词,比如proud, miss, thrilled等。再一个就是如何处理王子与戴安娜王妃的关系用语问题,在这个展示王子感性一面的演讲中,自然要用到Mum和son这样的词,所以这也是翻译特别要注意的地方。
该译题的网友译文比较优秀有rollyn-fighting, clumsy等网友,但可惜的是rollyn-fighting和其他很多网友一样,把every day写成了everyday。
“以儿媳为荣”这句话在很多报道中有所涉及,译成proud of Kate感觉更亲切一些,特别是用直接引语,不要译成proud of her daughter-in-law,有网友翻译出Prince William claims that Princess Diana will be pround(原文如此)of her wife,明显是用错了代词her。“相提并论”大多数网友都翻译成了compare,给人“可以比较”的感觉,不符合英国英语低调陈述的特征,用speak of就可以了。“感性的一面”有网友翻译成sensitive,这个词确实有褒义色彩,表示“有细腻感情的”意思,令我想到了Jane Austen的小说Sense and Sensitivity,但我偏向使用更低调的emotional这个词。
本届上海车展绿色环保气息格外浓郁,从组委会搭建的2011上海车展进场入口处的绿色门头,到展馆内各家车商纷纷推出的绿色环保节能车、电动车、概念车等,场内场外到处洋溢着绿色的气息。
这些设计时尚潮流而又充满科技智慧的绿色车型,不仅可以满足强劲动力需求,而且大幅度地减少了油耗和排放污染。相信在不久的未来,当技术全面成熟、周围的配套硬件设施齐备以后,我们离绿色电动也就不远了。
参考译文:
Shanghai Auto Show "Green" with Electric Cars
Shanghai Auto Show 2011 is tinged outside and in with full green, all the way from the exhibition gateway erected by the Organization Committee to the energy-efficient cars, electric cars, concept cars, etc. that are being promoted by car dealers.
All these eco friendly cars of trendy designs and high tech not only meet the strong desire for momentum, but also drastically reduce fuel consumption and exhausts. It is believed that we are heading for the near future when technologies and hardware facilities along the way grow consummate for widespread use of electric cars.
本译题标题中,“绿”字作动词用,在英语中并无对等说法,虽然英语中的green同样与环保有关。在翻译时可以交替使用green和eco friendly来翻译“绿色环保”,但英语中不要在同一地方复用这两个词。汉语第一段由几个小句组成,但都围绕一个中心,那就是展厅内外浓郁的绿色环保气息,rollyn-fighting使用brim这一动词的进行时来翻译全句的中心动词很形象,lisonwang使用的overwhelm一词感觉有些过了,clumsy和guanyu168则侧重意译,jasmine-I使用perfume一词可能考虑了视觉和嗅觉的通感修辞,是否能被英语读者接受存疑,其他网友则往往译成了filled with,不是很形象。“时尚潮流”又是汉语的同义词复用的例子,意思上等于trendy, fashionable, chic等英语词汇,“科技智慧”则属于上下义关系,科技是一种智慧,但technology wisdom却并非原文所要表达的内在含义,从上下文理解,这里可以译成high tech,还有就是汉语科技并称,但从汽车制造来讲,这里涉及的主要是技术问题,所幸的是大部分网友注意到了这个问题,但似乎都不愿意舍弃wisdom一词,原因可能是没有正确理解汉英构词习惯上的差异。“周围的配套硬件设施”涉及一些常识问题,既然要发展新能源汽车,比如电动汽车,那就需要沿途设置充电站,所以这里要把这一层意思译出来才好。
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专家简介:
张明权,安徽省固镇县人,江苏大学外国语学院副教授,英语语言文学硕士,上外博士课程班进修。主要从事英语语言学和翻译学研究,在国内外学术期刊发表论文10余篇,出版译著两部,发表其他文章20余篇,有大量翻译实践经验,翻译总字数接近200万。Email: mqzhang@ujs.edu.cn。
(作者:张明权 中国日报网英语点津 编辑:Julie)