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Humor Joke 幽默笑话

中国日报网英语点津为您精选语言地道的英语笑话,开心学英语。

感恩节笑话集锦(双语)

2014-11-24 17:04
为了让您的感恩节充满欢笑,我们诚挚地为您奉上一些笑话供您和您的亲友共享,让您的感恩节大餐笑声不断。

谨遵医嘱

2013-03-12 09:43
Brown: I'm sorry to see you so unwell. Have you seen the doctor? Jack: Yes. I'm having three baths a day. Brown: What for?

情人节的梦

2013-02-07 09:56
When she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamt that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it could mean?"

半个还是十分之五

2013-02-05 09:31
Teacher: Would you rather have one half of an orange or five tenths? Gerald: I'd much rather have the half.

聪明的儿子

2013-01-31 11:15
One day, the father lets eight-year-old son send a letter. The father then remembered he didn't write the address and addressee's name on the envelope.

什么也没留下

2013-01-24 15:08
Mrs. Brown was going out for the day. She locked the house and tacked a note for the milkman on the door: "NOBODY HOME. DON'T LEAVE ANYTHING." When she got back that night...

好客

2013-01-15 16:03
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese...

我能得到什么

2012-12-25 09:50
Teacher: If I cut a beefsteak in half and then cut the half in half, what do I get? Tommy: Quarters. Teacher: And then if I cut it twice again?

学以致用

2012-12-25 09:50
In a sales company, the boss said to one of his employees: The main thing to remember is repetition, repetition, repetition! That's the key!

噪音的优点

2012-12-25 09:50
“That's okay.” he said. “I'm buying this car for my daughter. If she complains about a vibration, I'll know she's driving too fast.”

本性难移

2012-12-25 09:50
When a very miserly man nicknamed the “stingy ghost” died and went to hell, the Yama King reproached him.

最喜欢哪种鸟

2012-09-13 09:41
 "What kinds of bird do you like best, Jack?" Jack answered, "Fried chicken, sir."

改错别句

2012-09-07 10:14
T: Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field". S: A cow and a bull is grazing in the field. T: How? S: Ladies first.

不死的爱

2012-09-04 10:10
Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Yes, dear. Girl: Would you die for me? Boy: No, mine is undying love.

为什么鼻青脸肿

2012-08-03 09:52
A man came to work on Monday morning with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened. The man replied, “On Sunday, I was sitting behind a big woman at church...

向婶婶道歉

2012-08-01 09:51
Dad: "Son, how can you call your aunt stupid? Go and say sorry to her." Son: (goes over to the aunt) "Aunt, I am sorry you are stupid."

任意按键

2012-07-31 10:38
"My computer is telling me to press any key to continue. Where is the 'any' key?"

不能见医生

2012-07-26 10:51
One day Hamid felt very sick and he went to the hospital. Nurse: Hamid, the doctor is here to see you. Hamid: Tell him, I can't see him. I'm sick.

悲痛的哀悼者

2012-07-24 10:13
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, “Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?”

咬自己的右眼

2012-07-20 09:33
A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye." The bartender says, "Yeah, right! I've never seen anyone do that!" So the man takes out his glass eye and bites it. The angry bartender...

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