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Humor Joke 幽默笑话

中国日报网英语点津为您精选语言地道的英语笑话,开心学英语。

毒蛇

2008-02-20 09:16
A father and son snake are out for a nice afternoon slither.

放屁的问题

2008-02-19 10:05
A little old lady goes to the doctor ... and says, "Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it doesn't really bother me too much.

精神病医生

2008-02-18 10:16
Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!"

上帝也伤脑筋

2008-02-15 08:39
Two countries were at war. The bigger country prayed to God.

去巴黎?

2008-02-14 08:35
Mandy was going to Pairs. She had a coach (客机的二等票) seat.

多远

2008-02-13 08:43
A carpenter was giving evidence about an accident he had witnessed. The judge asked him how far away he was from the accident.

一个墓穴,二个人

2008-02-05 09:06
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl’s grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car,the little girl asked:“Mommy,do the ever buried two people in one grave?”

书的妙用

2008-02-04 09:12
Once there was an egghead with his servant.

约会

2008-02-03 09:04
When the young waitress in the café in Tom's building started waving hello everyday. Tom was flattered, for she was at least 15 years younger than he. One day she waved and beckoned to Tom again. When Tom strolled over, she asked, "Are you single?"

葬礼几点钟

2008-02-02 09:18
Jake is teaching assistant at the University .He is famous for his kindness and hard working .He had an important appointment after class one day .

我没打老婆

2008-02-01 09:31
"Why do you go on the balcony when I sing? Don't you like to hear me?"

第一天上班

2008-01-31 10:15
A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said:“Your first job will be to sweep out the store.”

时间就是金钱

2008-01-30 09:05
As the taxi came to a screeching halt at a traffic light, I asked the driver, "Do you agree that 'Time is money'?" "Well, it’s a very common saying. Who will care so much about that?” the driver answered.

绳子和水

2008-01-29 10:38
A man was crawling across the Desert dying of thirst, when a camel raced up and stopped. An Arab jumped down, opened a suitcase and said, "Would you like to buy a tie?"

12只装

2008-01-28 09:24
A father and his son go into the grocery store when they happen upon the condom aisle. The son asks his father why there are so many different boxes of condoms. The father replies, ''Well, you see that 3-pack? That's for when you're in high school. You have 2 for Friday night and 1 for Saturday night.''

三个生病的士兵

2008-01-25 11:05
An army Major visits the sick soldiers, goes up to one private and asks, "What’s your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic syphilis, Sir!" "What treatment are you get ting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush each day, Sir!" "What’s your ambition?" "To get back to the front lines, Sir!" "Goodman!" says the Major.

绝配

2008-01-24 09:35
A wealthy matron is so proud of a valuable antique vase that she decides to have her bedroom painted the same color as the vase. Several painters try to match the shade, but none comes close enough to satisfy the eccentric woman.

胡闹

2008-01-23 09:17
A policeman took a monkey to his boss. The boss asked, “What kind of monkey business are you getting up to? He said, "This monkey was wandering on the streets, not following any of the rules. I'm turning him in. The boss said, "Oh, my God! You're so dumb! If you catch a monkey, you have to take it to the zoo. Why bring it to me. Take it to the zoo! So the policeman took the monkey out.

一半还是十分之五?

2008-01-22 08:59
Teacher: Would you rather have one half of an orange or five tenths?
Gerald: I'd much rather has the half.

手指断了

2008-01-21 09:14
A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me." She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony.

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