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Humor Joke 幽默笑话

中国日报网英语点津为您精选语言地道的英语笑话,开心学英语。

怎么去吝啬鬼家

2008-09-17 09:09
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party, but his friend doesn’t know where he lives.

会说话的钟

2008-09-16 09:04
While proudly showing offnew apartment to his friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and the hammer for?"

猪和女巫

2008-09-12 09:20
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!"

可怕的巧合

2008-09-11 10:02
Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins."

想请一天假

2008-09-10 09:15
"Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow,my wife needs me to help with attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff."

那药真有效

2008-09-09 09:11
Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it.

大脑袋

2008-09-08 09:20
"Don't listen to them," his mother consoled. "You have a beautiful head. Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes."

我怎么样才能上天堂

2008-09-05 08:59
"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the poor, would I get into heaven?"I asked the children in my Sunday school class.

相亲

2008-09-04 10:08
After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with the blind date.

真的还是假的

2008-09-02 09:11
One day a young businessman asked his girl friend, "Dear, will you marry me if I am bankrupt?" "Of course, I will." the girl said firmly.

谁的老爸跑得快

2008-09-01 09:24
Three young boys were fighting over whose dad was the best. "My dad is so good he can shoot an arrow, run after it, get in front of it, and catch it in his bare hands."

谁是傻瓜

2008-08-29 09:59
One day a college professor of psychology asked his new college class. "Would everyone who thinks he or she is stupid please stand up ?''

情人节卡片

2008-08-28 09:16
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them。

挑剔的顾客

2008-08-27 08:57
A customer was continually bothering the waiter in a restaurant; First, he'd asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.

长头发

2008-08-26 09:13
A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car.

健忘诊所

2008-08-25 08:47
Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other," Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?"

我是Saint Lucas

2008-08-22 08:56
A famous professor of surgery died and went to heaven. At the pearly gate he was asked by the gatekeeper: “Have you ever committed a sin you truly regret?'”

死后的评价

2008-08-21 08:51
After dying in a car crash, three friends find themselves at an orientation to enter heaven. Each one was asked, "When you are in your casket, what would you like to hear your friends and family saying about you?"

妻子要是报纸就好了

2008-08-20 08:47
Wife talking to her husband,who reads newspaper all day: I wish I were a newspaper so I'll be in your hands all day.

只问方法,不问结果

2008-08-19 08:58
Two farmers met with each other, and the first one said, "Didn't your horse have that disease that was going around?” The friend replied, “Yes, he did! He had it bad.” “So, what did you do for him?” asked the first farmer.

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