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Humor Joke 幽默笑话

中国日报网英语点津为您精选语言地道的英语笑话,开心学英语。

第一次约会

2007-08-10 18:16
After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date.

他的耳朵在我口袋里!

2007-08-14 08:00
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?""A kid bit me," replied Ivan.

她是卖糖果的!

2007-08-14 16:41
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents."What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

两磅李子

2007-08-16 08:25
Mother: I sent my little boy for two pounds of plums and you gave him a pound and a half.

婚礼

2007-08-23 08:11
Mrs. Jones and her little daughter Karen were outside the church watching all the coming and goings of a wedding. After the photographs had been taken, everyone had driven off to the reception and all the excitement was over.

推销

2007-08-24 08:05
“Now, Madam,” said the salesman after showing his company's products, “What do you need most at home now?” “Money, sir,” the woman said with no hesitation.

传教士买鹦鹉

2007-08-27 08:20
A preacher is buying a parrot. "Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher. "Oh absolutely. It's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him.

蝙蝠的故事

2007-08-28 08:17
Two vampire bats wake up in the middle of the night, thirsty for blood. One says, "Let's fly out of the cave and get some blood." "We're new here," says the second one. "It's dark out, and we don't know where to look. We'd better wait until the other bats go with us."

老师和学生

2007-08-29 08:15
Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of. Pupi: Life imprisonment!

两块饼干

2007-08-30 08:06
Mother: Do you want a cookie, Pierre? Do you want a cookie, Pierre? Pierre: Yes, Mum.Mother: Why must I ask you twice? Pierre: Because, Mum, I want two cookies.

复数形式

2007-08-31 08:49
Teacher: What is the plural of mouse?Pupil: Mice. Teacher: Good, now what's the plural of baby?Pupil: Twins!

石油

2007-09-04 08:00
Teacher: What do we do with crude oil?Pupil: Teach it some manners!

学法语

2007-08-17 08:34
Son: Dad, is French difficult to learn? Father: My boy, at the beginning it is, but after that it becomes easy.

交换三明治

2007-09-05 08:09
Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they took out sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat.

历史考试

2007-09-03 08:12
Aunt: How did Jim do his history examination? Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn't his fault. Why, they asked him things that happened before the poor boy was born.

哥伦布的电话号码

2006-01-19 08:00
Little Mary: I find in my history book there is always such number (1451--1560) after the name Christopher Columbus. Would you please explain why, sir?

贿赂和新郎

2006-12-13 08:33
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer: "Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows.

老板要的太多

2006-12-12 08:35

他的错

2006-12-08 08:48
Billy and Bobby were brothers, and they often had fights with each other.

百分之百

2006-11-28 08:35

Patient: Doctor, please tell me the truth. What are my chances of recovery?

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