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Humor Joke 幽默笑话



2011-02-11 10:04
The average cost of rehabilitate one seal after the Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively-saved animals were released into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers.


2011-02-09 13:47
There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one night and she couldn't find hairs on his jackets she yelled at him, "Great, so now you're cheating on me with a bald woman!"


2011-02-01 11:17
A young man asked Socrates to teach him the technique of lecturing. In order to show that he was an eloquent speaker, the young man talked on and on about all irrelevant matters.


2011-01-31 11:00
His friend remarked that he had gone to the same dentist a few years before. "Is that so?" the first said. "Did he do a good job?"


2011-01-30 09:26
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.


2011-01-28 09:58
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden. Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles


2011-01-27 10:21
While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?


2011-01-26 14:19
An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter.


2011-01-25 09:40
Father to son after exam: “Let me see your report card."


2011-01-24 09:31
"What's the difference between an optimist and a pessimist?" I asked my husband.


2011-01-21 13:21
Johnny: Daddy, are caterpillars good to eat? Father: Have I not told you never to mention such things during meals!


2011-01-20 09:52
A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind.


2011-01-19 10:39
Officer: That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again, Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?


2011-01-18 13:31
"Yes," she replies, "He's my ex-husband, and has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago."


2011-01-17 10:17
A holidaymaker was complaining to his landlady about his room. 'Look. This wall's so thin you can almost see through it.'


2011-01-14 09:24
In the first place, the stockyards are half a mile to the west. North is a rubber factory. Two blocks east is the sewage-disposal plant. And just south is the vinegar works.


2011-01-13 10:32
Mrs. Jones was still cleaning the house when her husband came back from work. She was wearing dirty, old clothes and no stockings, her hair was not tidy, she had dust on her face, and she looked dirty and tired.


2011-01-12 10:26
"No, really," he insisted. "I've lived here under five different ministers, and each new one has been worse than the last."


2011-01-11 09:49
Husband: You have to admit that men have much better judgment than women. Wife: You're right. You married me and I married you.


2011-01-10 10:14
Two men are talking. The first said, "I got married because I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry and wearing shabby clothes."

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